Page 149 of Prey for You

But in the end it didn’t matter. Not really. I took a deep breath.

“But I see it all more clearly now. It doesn’t matter what part of me you love—or loved—because I love all of you. And tonight I realized something important: If loving you means fighting for you so you can believe in me, I’m going to do it.”

Her eyes gotverywary then.

I shook my head. “Not that kind of fighting, I promise.”

But she was tenser now. Shit.

“I’m here, Bridget. I told you the truth about how I felt, and why I was close. I lied aboutnothingwhen it came to you and us and… well, wanting you. When you disappeared I panicked. I talked to your dad because I thought he might help me find you. But I shouldn’t have. I see that now.

“The worst part is, when you called me, I was a coward and didn’t tell you because I was afraid I’d lose you. It was the wrong choice. I regret it. If I’d known that day what I know now, I would never have gone. I know that’s easy to say, but it’s true.”

She wasn’t giving me anything. Her eyes were guarded. Her posture stiff.

My heart thumped so hard I felt it in my skin.

“You’re right about your dad,” I blurted. “He’s a manipulative, self-serving control freak. I suspect being sick has only made him less patient and more willing to toy with people to prove to himself that he’s got control oversomething.But in the end, that’s not the important part. What’s important is what you neednow.”

I stopped and took a slow breath because I had no clue how she would feel about this.

“We both know I’m going to lose this trial,” I said bluntly. Her lips tightened. “My lawyers have been talking strategies about delaying the process for as long as possible ever since that fucking doctor testified. They’re talking about how to get sentencing held off and… and today they brought me a plea agreement that they say I should sign.”

She had already been alert, frozen in place. But now she stopped breathing.

“Breathe, babe.” The words came out instinctively and her eyes widened a hair. But she did it and a tiny corner of my heart swelled with hope, until her eyes narrowed like I’d tricked her.

Shit. “Bridget, I don’t want to go back to prison. You know that. But if you’re afraid of me—like, truly afraid. If you believethat I’m just one more manipulative, violent bastard… if my being free is going to convince you that you now havetwopredators to watch out for… Well, I want you to know, I won’t do that to you. I’ve been fighting this case tooth and nail because you’remy wife.I want to be with you. But if me being out and loose is going to convince you that life is too scary to be worth it, I’ll take the plea agreement. I’ll have ten years, probably get parole in five or six. And by then… by then I’ll pray you’ve found some freedom and don’t feel afraid of me anymore.”

I swallowed, reached back into my back pocket for that roll of papers and pulled it out. “This is it,” I said, showing it to her, and I took one small step closer.

Bridget flinched and my heart broke. But she didn’t dial the phone.

Very slowly, I dropped down, squatting, putting myself below her level so I wasn’t looming over her anymore. “Bridget, I willneverintentionally hurt you. Ever. But I know you well enough to know that means… that means I can’t push myself on you, either. They all do that,” I said quietly. “I see it, Bridge. I see it. I seeyou.I won’t force you to deal with me if you don’t want to. If you need me gone so you can feel safe, I’ll sign that, and I’ll be gone.”

I took a deep breath. She blinked a couple times like maybe she was teary, but her expression didn’t change.

“That’s… I needed to say that so you know. But if you want me to leave right now, I will. And I won’t come back. Just know that whether I’m out or not, in my mind, you’re my wife. I’ll always love you. I’ll always want to hear from you. I’ll always wantyou. But I willneverforce myself on you.

“You’re my One, Bridget. I don’t get everything right. And yeah, I have to fight that monster inside me every fucking day. But I swear, I was fightingforyou.And I’m never going to apologize for that. I will keep doing that for the rest of my life.”

I blew out my breath and looked at her. Her eyes were locked on mine and welling with tears, but she didn’t move or say anything, and she was still drawn slightly back, trying to put more space between us.

I waited, but she didn’t say anything. And she didn’t move.

That was her answer.

My heart sank. The best I could hope for was that she’d think about it and maybe talk to me later.

“I’m going to put my hand back in my pocket, but it’s to get a new burner phone out. I don’t know if you blocked me, or just haven’t had it on, but I learned tonight that my number’s been compromised, so that means yours has too…” I slowly dropped one hand, dug into the pocket and pulled out the phone and charging cord. “The only number programmed into it is my new one, okay? If you don’t want it, just… get rid of it I guess.”

Tucking the papers under my arm, I carefully placed the phone and cord at the end of the couch, then stood up, both hands still up so she could see them.

“Thank you for listening to me. If you ever want to talk, just call.” Then, fisting those papers so hard they crinkled under my hand, I turned and walked out. My chest was tight and my heart pumping.

I wanted to fucking cry because she’d never relaxed or even spoken. But I knew how messed up she had to be feeling right now and I promised her I wouldn’t push, so what choice did I have?

I walked normally back down the hallway to that intersection, then turned down the narrow space past her kitchen to the back door.

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