Page 74 of Every Chance After

“Sure.”

She drifts away, seeming to examine everything from the floor to the ceiling, and I want to warn her not to look too closely, but what does it matter?

Cockroaches, cigarettes, idiots, and porn? There’s no way she’ll go for this.

Not that I want her to—she deserves better.

I meet Marina at the short dock overlooking the swamp a half-hour later. She stands there, gazing at the scenery. I imagine she’s upset. I would be. This isn’t a career option. It’s an insult. A death sentence. A cruel joke. Another funeral home.

The boards creak under me when I move beside her. The stagnant water swirls with green algae and lily pads. A lone car goes over the short bridge to our left, startling a long-legged heron into flight. Deeper into the swamp, the majestic, thick-bottomed bald cypress trees dripping with Spanish moss form an eerie tunnel. The dying sun reflects the trees onto the water’s surface, doubling their mystery and beauty. Croaking frogs begin a nighttime chorus, and a hawk makes a forceful dive onto the weedy grasslands. Like the woman standing beside me, it’s beautiful in the strangest way.

I’d forgotten how much I once loved it here.

My arms fold as I struggle to put together an apology.

She turns to me, eyes and smile wider than seems possible. “I’ll do it.”

“Seriously? You don’t have to. You shouldn’t. It’s a mess. I never should’ve brought you here. We’ll think of something else.”

“Wedon’t have to think of anything else. But since you took the initiative of finding me something I’d enjoy, I want to do it.”

“Why?” I ask, breathless and confused. “You’re so much better than this place.”

Her bare shoulder bounces in a one-sided shrug. “There’s potential here, and I love a good challenge. Lost causes and second chances are two of my many specialties. You’ll see.”

Her warm smile carries her optimism over to me. “I don’t doubt it. If you’re sure.”

“I am, but I need you to promise me something.” Her delicate hands fall on my folded forearms like she wants me to pay attention. “This pity train you’re on stops here. I know you facilitated this job offer more than you let on. That man does not want a manager, does he?”

“He… warmed up to the idea.”

“Well, he needs the help. You’re right about that, and I’m perfect for the job,” she says, pleasing me with her confidence. “But, Grady, you’ve done enough. Okay? I know you feel bad about the accident and the aftermath, but it’s done. Nothing can change it.”

Sometimes, nothing can be done.“I know, and I’m sorry, and I won’t stop feeling sorry just because you want me to.”

Her hands tighten on my forearm, and her eyes lock on mine. “You know, don’t you? AbouteverythingI lost in the accident?”

Her question hits me so hard that I almost step back. Only I can’t. Stepping back means leaving her touch, and I refuse to do that. Or outright lie to her. “Yes.”

“I thought you might.”

“I overheard. Outside your room, when the doctor… I shouldn’t have listened.”

She chuckles softly, still holding on with both hands like I might leave her. “It’s okay. A relief, actually. That someone else knows. Someone who… doesn’t hold it against me.”

I swallow a growing lump in my throat. Her vulnerability with me, letting me into her pain like I’m not the cause of it, does something to the outer crust I’ve worked so hard to build around me since moving back home. It flakes away under her gaze, her words, her fingertips, like old paint off weather-beaten boards. I imagine if she snapped her fingers, it would disappear altogether. “I wouldneverhold it against you. No one should. Still, Marina, I’m so?—”

“Grady, please, listen to me. It’s not your fault.Iheld the knife in my lap. Ashe was the dummy who couldn’t remember theone thinghe had to do besides get dressed and show up. Cora didn’t even notice it sitting on the counter in their kitchen—it washerfamily heirloom. Don’t you see? The blame game has us going around in useless circles. Still, nothing changes.”

“I fucked up your life, Marina. I’m responsible.”

Her eyes fix on mine, locking me in. “Remember what I said? Those impressive shoulders can’t carry everything. And I don’t want them to. I didn’t deserve what happened, but you don’t deserve a lifetime of guilt for it, either. I won’t be defined by a freaking body part, and, you know what? I’m stronger without it and better off with a question mark for a future than one as the Sullivan’s go-to girl. Please, Grady. Let this be the last thing.”

“I can’t promise that, Marina. Not until I know you’re okay. Not just hearing you say it, butknowingit. I need to see you physically, mentally, and financially, okay. You almost died in my arms. Like it or not, that connected us, and I’d be a shit person if I didn’t grab onto that connection and let it take us wherever you want it to go. Truth is, I’m not okay until you are. You’re stuck with me until then. Understood?”

She sighs and nods. “Two castaways on the same boat, huh?”

“Yes, but it’s not just a boat. It’s a damn pirate ship reclaiming what’s been taken from you. As much as we can, anyway. I want you to ram it into the Sullivan’s cruise ship. Sink them, Marina.”

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