Page 78 of Yes No Maybe

“Rowan, I don’t want an out.”

“What?”

“An out—I don’t want it. That kiss wasn’t me playing, plotting, or trying to prove anything. I kissed you because I wanted to. Istillwant to. Every day. For as long as you let me.You, Rowan, and no one else… And that scares the hell out of me—thisis what’s been hard for me to handle, wanting you. But I don’t care. I could easily fall in love with you, you know. Hell, I may be already.” He looks disappointed like he’s gone too far.

“Is this a joke? You can’t possibly mean that.”

“Why not?” He steps closer, sizing me up. “And don’t you fucking dare say your face. I happen to love your face.”

A labored laugh mixes with a sharp gasp as tears spring to my eyes. These are words I never imagined someone saying to me—they’re words I can’t say to myself. And yet, the sincere look in his eyes assures me—hecouldlove me. In this blue haze,I knowI could easily love him, too.Maybe.If I could trust it to last…. If things were different.

“I’m with Dean,” I mutter weakly. “He’s coming home. I can’t just—”

“I know.” Jack’s hands slide into the pockets of his dark pants, and his head hangs, his shaggy hair falling over his eyes in lazy wisps as he watches me. He lets out a trapped sigh. “I’m sorry for the terrible position this puts you in. It’s a risk for me, too. The whole neighborhood might turn against me if I screw this up.”

A laugh rumbles out between tears. “I’d be ousted altogether. The headlines alone make it a risky endeavor.”

“To hell with them. It’s worth it. All I want is a chance for us.”

A chance for us.The words repeat like an unbelievable discovery that requires convincing. He’s not one to take his words lightly—Iknowthat. Despite his playboy persona, he’d never say this without meaning it. My trust in him upticks with each vulnerability, like shards of glass bonding together to form a mosaic.

He adds color when he says, “I wake up wanting to spend time with you and go to bed thinking about things you’ve said. You occupy my thoughts like no one ever has, and I welcome the invasion, Rowan…”

A tearful chuckle slips from me.

“—And that kiss… I know I write that shit all the time, but until you, I didn’t think it could be that good, either. It meant everything to me.”

His words liquefy every hard part of me. I reach for his arm like I might wobble under the weight of what he’s saying.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Another laugh emerges. “I knew moving next to you would be trouble… just never expected this kind.”

“That makes two of us.”

Other patrons enter the blue room, and Jack moves us to a corner, shielding me as I pull myself together. His thumb brushes away the wetness under my eyes. And for the first time, when it comes to Jack, I think…maybe.

“Rowan,” Sara’s voice bounces off the hazy display, and she waves us in her direction.

The nearest opening leads to a room of intricate dioramas of old school buildings, homes, and churches. Tom, Marcy, Vernon, and Rose peer through the tiny windows, debating the tools needed for such an enterprise.

Sara sits on a central bench, legs crossed and sketchbook open. Her eyes catch mine as she flips the page.

I sit with her as Jack melds in with the others.

“You okay?” Sara asks in a small whisper as she eyes my hands. I’m strangling my dress hem.

Rose announces to the others, “I like the bits and bobs of it, but it’s not like we can hang one of these over the hearth, is it?”

Their animated discussion turns to home decor.

A chuckle breaks through my unease. “Don’t worry about me. This place is amazing.”

She runs her charcoal stick along the sides of her textured page, roughly capturing the lines of the diorama. Watching her pencil strokes is meditative, calming me the more I focus on the picture she’s creating. That she lets me watch feels like another long-fought victory.

“What’s been your favorite so far?” she asks.

“The blue room.”That’swhere Jack Graham said he could fall in love with me. His words roll over in my head like rocks in a tumbler. “How about you?”

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