Page 23 of Love in Focus

I thought it was my friends being their usual, spontaneous selves. I didn’t realize there was a whole stereotype behind it. Celeste and I jumped over all that by being roommates to begin with. For better or worse.

“The U-Haul thing…” I say when we sit back down at the table with our now hot plates of food. “It worked for you guys, but Celeste and I are different. Not only did westartout as roommates, but shestillended up leaving me in the end.”

Kiara squeezes my hand, and Val frowns.

“Maybe you need to establish firmer boundaries with her then,” Val says, a protective edge in her voice. “So something like that doesn’t happen again.”

“Yup,” I reply. “I think that’s what I have to do, too.”

I feel like I’ve brought everyone’s mood down, because after we finish eating, my friends and I just sit there for a few awkward minutes.

Finally, I say, “You know what? We should go out tonight. Not to a bar like last time but, like, actual clubbing. It’s a Saturday! I won’t drink this time around, though. Since I need to take a break after last night.”

My friends stare at me with expressions that say,Are you for real?Although Kiara, Val, and I went out a couple times when we first all became friends, we eventually stopped going out together as a group. I’m kind of to blame, since initially, it was because I was too busy doing other stuff with James. But then, as we reached our late twenties, Val and I stopped going to clubs altogether, opting for more chill activities, instead. Kiara sometimes still went out, but with her other friends.

“Gemma,” Val says. “I don’t know if you realize this, but we’re all turning thirty next year.”

Kiara holds up a hand. “For the record,Istill occasionally go clubbing and see people older than us out and having fun all the time. But Gemma, baby, are you sure? No offense, but when’s the last time you even stepped into a club?”

My face turns red. Honestly, I don’t even want to do the math.

“It’ll be fun!” I say, dodging her question. “Or at the very least memorable. Come on, guys. Before we get any older. Like Val said, thirty is just around the corner!”

Kiara and Val exchange a look. Kiara is practically bouncing up and down at the very prospect of clubbing with the two of us, but Val glances longingly at her PS5 as she says, “You two go ahead. My club days are over.”

“Oh, come on, Valentina!” Kiara says, using her girlfriend’s full first name. She grabs her arm and pulls her toward her. “You can game any night you want. Come out with us! It’s not every day thatGemmawants to go clubbing. Or that we can all go out together!”

I give Val a pleading look. She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Fine, I’ll go out. But I amnotdressing up.”

That night, after my friends pregame with some shots of tequila and I drink a glass of sparkling cider, I realize that I don’t have anything to wear to the club. I left most of my clothes at James’s, and I’m probably never going to get them back because I don’t want to talk to him ever again. But even if I still had everything, I doubt the clubbing dresses from my early twenties fit me now—thank you, slower metabolism.

Val’s closer to me in terms of size, but since she doesn’t have any dresses, I end up having to borrow from Kiara. She’s a few inches taller and has a totally different body type than me, but luckily she has a plain, loose-fitting black dress that doesn’t look too bad on me. Meanwhile, Kiara herself wears a stunning white dress that accentuates all her curves, while Val wears an oversized black T-shirt and jeans. Like she warned us, Val doesn’t dress up, but she does style her hair, slicking it back in a way that makes Kiara smile.

When we’re all ready to go, we get a car and head downtown. Even though I didn’t drink any alcohol, the sheer excitement of going to a club for the first time in a while with my friends sends a thrill down my spine. The lights of the city are blindingly bright, and as sirens erupt from a distance, I open the car window to feel the cool, salty San Francisco night air on my face.

That’s the one thing that I like more about San Francisco than back home in Orange County. The air. Although we also have coastal areas in Southern California, up here, the cool air is so crisp and fresh in a way it never gets in Irvine.

As we approach our destination, the streets get more and more crowded with people headed out for a good time. It’s eleven p.m. on a Saturday, and the city is very much alive.

Inside the club, loud EDM bombards my senses, making every cell in my body vibrate. Everything’s lit up by floor-to-ceiling lights that flash and pulse to the music. Bright splashes of color shine over the entire room as throngs of people scream, laugh, and dance. The vibes and energy are so top-notch, I’m ecstatic. And I can tell my friends are excited to be here, too. Kiara is grinning from ear to ear, and even Val nods and pumps her fist along to the beat.

“Come on,” I say, leading my friends to the dance floor. “Let’s get closer to the stage!”

The crowd gradually makes way for us as we push closer to the front. I definitely haven’t missed the stench of sweaty bodies, but being in close proximity to so many other people makes me feel alive in ways I can’t explain. Kiara and I dance back-to-back, reaching our hands high in the air, while beside us, Val rocks and grooves to the music.

The club crowd is a lot younger than I remember it being, although I see a handful of middle-aged couples as well. Kiara was right. Therearelots of people who are older than us, including a man in his seventies sporting a fedora and sunglasses. So I don’t feeltooold.

The DJ puts on a remixed version of Rihanna’s “Only Girl (in the World),” a throwback from when I was in high school that makes people hoot in recognition. I close my eyes and raise my hands as I sway from side to side.

Kiara and I sing along to the lyrics, throwing Val a pointed look.

“Come on!” I say. “I know you know the words!”

Val rolls her eyes in mock disgust. But at the next chorus, she belts out the song with so much force that Kiara and I fall into each other, nearly collapsing with laughter.

Fuck, this is fun, I think.Why did I stop going out with my friends, again?

But of course, I know exactly why. When James and I first moved to San Francisco, we went out to pretty much every club we could get into. But as we got older, we started doing whathesaid were more “normal” mid-to-late-twenties activities like trivia nights and wineries. Since I did enjoy most of the things we did together, I never really complained.

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