Page 25 of Come As You Are

“Oh, if only it were that basic. No, my brother is a fucking moron, who was not only smokingonschool property, but in the principal’s office. Which he broke into. On a Saturday.”

“Yikes.”

“Yup. I don’t know if one of his loser friends dared him or what, but there’s really no apologizing your way back from that one. I don’t even know if you couldbuyyour way back from that one, not that we have ‘buy your way out of a principal-embarrassing drug scandal’ money. And before you ask, no, we don’t have ‘send two kids to boarding school’ money, either. Camden was the only school that gave us enough financial aid, and that’swiththe help from the grandma my parents absolutely hate to ask for help.”

“For what it’s worth, we don’t have boarding school moneyeither.” It’s a fact that still makes my guilt about begging to come here sit like a stone in my belly. Camden’s generous financial aid was definitely a factor in it being the ultimate choice, but if I don’t maintain the terms of my academic scholarship, I’m definitely screwed. “But wow, that’s obnoxiously stupid, even for Salem.”

“I know, right?”

The microwave beeps, and I get to work putting the popcorn into a bowl while Sabrina flips through the channels to try to find something on Camden’s limited cable selection that doesn’t suck. “So what about you?” she calls as I do a final shake for the kernel remnants. “What brought you here?”

“Honestly, same kind of thing,” I admit as I join her on the couch and hold out the bowl. “As you, not Salem.” It’s both weird to open up and nice to feel like I’ve finally found someone I can share with. The hardest thing about Sierra and Craig wasn’t even that they broke my heart—it was easy enough from the outside to see that Craig wasn’t worth it—but that the only person in the world I trusted enough to share my feelings about it with wasn’t even on my side.

Well, the hardest thing was my own sister stabbing me in the back, but at least it was consistent with her personality. Claire turned so fast, I’d swear Sierra had something on her, if Claire had ever actually done anything interesting.

Anyway, talking about it again feels nerve-racking, but I’m sure talking about Molly isn’t one of Sabrina’s favorite pastimes either, so fair is fair. “The boy was sort of the least ofit, but we definitely did break up. After I found out he was hooking up with my sister. And my best friend knew about it.”

Sabrina’s hand freezes in the bowl of warm popcorn. “Oh. Shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Dude, your sister sucks.”

“Yuuup. In so many ways, but that was just the final straw. I couldn’t imagine going back to school with all of them after that. So here I am.” I drop onto the couch next to Sabrina and dig my hand into the bowl for a fistful of popcorn.

“So what’s it like between you and your sister now?”

I think of the simultaneously satisfying and empty feeling of finally blocking her email address, partly because I didn’t want to give her a way to get in touch with me and partly because I didn’t want to feel worse if she never even tried. At least this way, I’ll never know. “It’s nothing. Nonexistent.”

She nods slowly, and I can tell she wants to choose her next words carefully. “That must be really hard. I mean, Salem sucks, but I also don’t know that I could be here without him.” She narrows her eyes. “Don’t you dare ever tell him I said that.”

I mime locking up my lips and tossing away the key, even though I have a feeling he feels the same way about her. Meanwhile, I can’t even imagine what Sierra would say if you asked her how she feels about me.

Probably something like “Evie who?”

Sabrina returns to flipping through channels, but turns out Friday-night pickings are exceedingly slim. “Cooking show?”

“Cooking show,” I affirm with a nod, because nothingsays comfort TV like watching people make cupcakes flavored like chicken and waffles with maple buttercream.

As we lie back and demolish the popcorn while debating which sounds worse, avocado cream filling or honey barbecue frosting, I feel one of the thousand cracks in my heart seal itself shut.

Chapter Seven

DESPITE THE LATE NIGHT, Iwake up relatively early the next morning—in time to catch breakfast at the Beast, which is so empty it feels like offering it on Saturday mornings is basically a formality. I’ve always been an earlier riser; just feels like there’s too much to do with the day to sleep through it. Once I’ve eaten my weight in waffles and disposed of my tray, I start to head out and am surprised to see not just Isabel but all three of her besties enter the cafeteria.

“Evie!” I love how Isabel always sounds so utterly delighted to see me. “Come sit with us.”

I realize with my tray already gone, there’s no way for them to know I already ate, so I grab a little fruit salad and fancy myself looking dainty and ladylike with it. “We were just talking about you,” Isabel tells me once we’ve taken seats. “I didn’t realize you werewiththat boy.”

Once again, it’s time to figure out how to play this—would it be a good thing, or a bad thing?

Before I can even try, Ashleigh chimes in. “That’s Salem Grayson, right? Landon says he thinks once they whip him into shape, he’s gonna be a serious star on the team.”

“He’s certainly got the height,” Isabel adds.

“And the hands,” Priya says with a giggle, her long, thick black hair bouncing.

The other girls smirk and I suddenly feel very young and out of my element. “I… yeah. I mean, we’re not. We’re friends. Dormmates, too. But yeah, just friends.”

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