Page 52 of Home Field Advantage

Still, if there’s one thing I’ve learned in Atherton, it’s never to get your hopes up, even around the people you think could be your friends. “Hell of a way of showing it, by whispering to me in the corner like I’m some kind of criminal creep.”

“It wouldn’t exactly work if people knew we were talking,” he points out, and as if he’d just summoned them, Matt Devlin and Lamar Burke round the corner and start heading in our direction. “Meet me in the art room at lunch.”

Well, he certainly found the place most likely to contain zero people who care about football.

Still, the thought of getting my hopes up again exhausts me. There’s nothing one guy on the team can do at this point. The others have given up their pride in the game—there’s nothing left for them to lose. But every day I’m here I risk tearing my family further apart, losing my best friends, losing mymind.

It feels good to be in control for once, even if just to tap the final nail in my coffin. “Thanks, but I’ll pass.” And for the first time since I got to Atherton, I’m the one to walk away.

Chapter Eleven

-AMBER-

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” I chant at my phone, but like the last six times, it isn’t working. Whatever, it doesn’t matter—I’ve reached those I most need to reach, and hopefully, they’ll take it from there.

I switch over to my texts, which have been flooded by Miguel all morning. It’s a relief to see he isn’t too mad at me to yell, but I’m not sure how much longer that’ll last if I keep ignoring him. However, I’ve already missed half the day for my mission, so I don’t have time to get into it withhim now. I type out a quickComing now, explain later, do a brief check of my hair, makeup, and uniform, and bounce out the door.

It’s a little overly hopeful, still showing up in my uniform. If I get caught skipping the entire morning, they’ll keep me from cheering tonight. But it’s worth it, I think. I hope.

It feels right, anyway.

I’m just walking into school when the message I’ve been waiting for comes in—a simpleThey’re infollowed by a thumbs-up emoji.

I exhale the breath I’ve been holding for the last twelve hours.

The second I get inside I’m accosted by Diana and Zoe, as if they’ve had radar on the front door this whole time. “Where have you been?” Zoe practically hisses, dragging me toward the caf. “I covered for you in physics and Spanish, and I heard Austin did in English, but you are this close to being tossed out of the game tonight. Please tell me you came with a doctor’s note.” She glances behind me and the look on her face gets even angrier. “Where the hell is Cara?”

The part of me that had been wondering if Cara ran straight to the team with the news that one of their bases flies a rainbow flag relaxes. It’s clear that Diana and Zoe don’t know a thing, and though that won’t stay true for long, it’s helpful for today. At least I wasn’tcompletelydelusional all those years of being friends with Cara.

“Haven’t seen her today,” I say truthfully, thoughts cycling through my mind.

Caraneverskips school, because she knows all it’ll take is one or two absences until her parents use it against her. They’re dying to switch her to homeschooling, which really just means keeping her around to help take care of the littlest littles. So why is she skipping today?

I thought Cara was not so subtly throwing her hat in the ring for captain by leading the charge for the anti-Jack rebellion, but if she skips out on homecoming, there’s no coming back from that. Was I wrong the whole time? Or did she only just decide to pivot away?

And of course, if it’s not gonna be me (and it’s certainly not), and if it’s not gonna be her (and it’s certainly not), then… who’s it gonna be?

Somewhere along the way, that became the least important question.

Because the most important one doesn’t have a thing to do with Cara.

I haven’t tried getting in touch with Jack, and I’m not going to. She’s right to be pissed, and nothing I can say is gonna fix it. But tonight we’ll see if anything I candowill fix it, and that’s what has me bouncing in my tennis shoes.

Or it’s whathadme bouncing in my tennis shoes. An “I mean business” glare from Diana dries that right up. None of this will work if I don’t get out on the field tonight, even if it means pretending I’m all in for plan Fuck Up Jack’s Life.

“What, are you two in your first fight ever?” Diana snaps. “Great day you chose for it.”

“We’re fine,” I lie, because if they smell blood in the water, they’ll never drop it. “Guess we both had shit to do today, and I’m here, so I bet she will be soon too. Maybe she’s having trouble getting a ride.”

“Whatever,” Zoe says with a roll of her eyes. “Just get to the gym. Crystal and Nia are waiting.”

My stomach grumbles at the mention of skipping lunch for a squad meeting, and I wish it hadn’t been too filled with butterflies all morning for me to eat in between detective work, plotting, sending awkward messages, and making even more awkward phone calls. I’m gonna have to beg another one of those nasty energy bars off Coach.

While Zoe and Diana hunt the halls to see if Cara’s shown up, I make my way to the gym. There, I get another minute of “Ohmygodwherewereyou thankgodyoureherenow” from Crystal and Nia, and then I join Kelsey, Sara, Ella, Claire, and Virany in their stretching corner while we wait for Zoe, Diana, Taylor, and, of course, Cara.

“I was wondering when you were gonna show,” Kelsey says immediately, because of course she does. I don’t know when she and Cara became besties, but I’m guessing if anyone knows where C is right now, it’s her.

“So nice to know you were worried about me, Kels!” I say sweetly. “Everything is fine. Just wanted to make sure my hair looked extra shiny.”And good luck calling me out on that.

---