Page 33 of Home Field Advantage

I should keep my mouth shut, probably. Miguel never wanted anyone to know what Robbie was doing, and Cara… But I’m not the one who spilled Cara’s secret to Jack, and if she already knows that half, and she already knows Miguel is gay.…

If I don’t talk to someone, I am going to explode.

“I’m sorry for ruining our date” is what comes out of my mouth, though. “I was having a really good time. Iam, I mean. I like sitting here with you.” All of that is so true, it hurts.

“Hey, Cheer Girl.” She takes my hand in her rough one, her calluses lightly scraping my skin and making me shiver in the warm Florida night. “You haven’t ruined anything. I’mjust worried about you. You seemed to take that news pretty hard. Were you and Cara, uh—”

“No!” The idea is so ridiculous, I almost laugh in her face. “God, no. Cara comes from a super-religious family that isnotdown with the rainbow. Honestly, she’s the number one reason I’m not out at school. She’s not even allowed to date boys, which I guess is why Robbie was a secret. Her parents would ground her for life if they knew, or send her to live with her aunt in Winter Springs. Cheerleading woulddefinitelybe off the table.”

“Oh. Yikes. No wonder she seems so uptight. And you weren’t exactly tight with Robbie either, right?”

“Understatement of the year,” I mutter. I look her square in the eyes, trying to decide exactly how much I can trust her, and nothing in the warm brown waiting there suggests anything other than that she’s patiently listening. “Robbie made life hell for Miguel. He was the only person at school other than me who knew Miguel was gay, and he used it to his advantage constantly—blackmailing Miguel to vote on his side anytime there was any sort of team conflict, treating him like an errand boy, demanding money all the time, and just generally being a dick. It’s true that Miguel and I are dating in part to keep other guys away from me, but the biggest reason was to discredit Robbie if he ever tried to out Migs. Except Robbie was such a fucking asshole that he took pictures as backup.”

Jack’s jaw drops so low, I can see a filling in one of her back molars. “That’s the guy people are so pissed I replaced? That’s the guy I’ve been trying to live up to? Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Trust me, it’s killing me and Miguel, but as far as I know, not a single soul at AHS knows about the blackmail other than the two of us and now you. And you absolutely cannot tell a soul.”

“You really wanna keep that a secret? Seeing how much everyone idolizes him? Seeing what hell I’m going throughbecauseof how much everyone idolizes him?” Fire flashes in her eyes and I worry I made a terrible mistake and shared too much. “They should know who they’re putting on a pedestal. Those guys are Santiago’s friends too—wouldn’t they be pissed on his behalf?”

I’m not sure which of us let go, but I’m suddenly very aware we’re no longer holding hands. “I’m pretty sure they’d be more focused on that he’s gay, Jack. He made a choice not to come out to them, and we’re not outing him on the chance it might make them let up on you. I’m really sorry they’re being shitty, but—”

“Amber.”Her voice is fierce enough to shut me up mid-sentence. “Of course I’m not talking about outing Miguel. Jesus fuck, who do you think I am?”

I don’t know, I think, because even though I want to, we’re still so new. This is still so new. And right now, I’m learning I can’t trust anything, and I don’t know whether or not that includes this thing between us.

She sighs. “Okay, fair enough. I get how tonight has been a lesson that you never know anyone as well as you think you do. But listen to me, okay? I would never, ever out somebody, not even the devil Robbie himself.”

I swallow hard. It’s the absolute lowest bar of humanity, but the truth is, I’m not sure how many people at Atherton would clear it, and I’m just so relieved Jack is one of them.

“I know we can’t tell them this specifically,” she continues, and her hand finds mine again. “And yeah, I know it’s a dream at this point that they’ll stop sanctifying him for any reason. It’s just… not fair, you know? I almost think I could take it all if he were a really great guy, but this… Or maybe I just want to think that. Maybe I’d crack under the pressure no matter what.”

“Hey,” I tell her, lifting up her chin. “You’re not cracking. You are kicking ass. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to the team and that’s true regardless of who Robbie was. They may act like they don’t know who’s to credit for their first winning season, but believe me, they know. And someday they’ll be grateful for it. Even if they’re, like, forty by the time that happens. But they aren’t the point—you are. And you’re a star.”

Her gaze drops, and my heart does a double back handspring at the sight of this powerful athlete going shy on me. “A star, huh?”

“Let’s be real—I wouldn’t bother sneaking around with anyone who wasn’t.”

She snorts, but it doesn’t make her look any less kissable.

And kiss her is exactly what I do.

Of course, the day after I find out about Cara’s secret is a day I have to be trapped in a room with her and the rest of the squad for hours. It’s Spirit Week, which means for the next seven days, our entire lives are dedicated to amping the school up for homecoming this weekend. Thankfully, because athletics rule Atherton, even despite our pre-Jack losing record, that means homework this week is a joke. Unfortunately, Spirit Week prep isnot.

Tomorrow is Gator Day—which means tail-shaped cookies in the cafeteria, “snapping” your friends and lovahs (i.e., clipping festive clothespins to their shirts, which results in a schoolwide popularity contest), and a group of twelve cheerleaders sprawled on the floor of Diana Rivera’s palatial living room the day before, threading garlands of fake alligator teeth and making glittery “Atherton Rules!” signs on oak tag designed to look like gator skin.

“Whatarethese creepy things?” Zoe asks, holding up one of the plastic fang-like teeth. “Who justhasfake alligator teeth lying around?”

“Girl, you are so clearly not originally from Florida.” Claire tosses a green paper scale at her, but it drifts to the floor between them like a leaf. “Take that Ohio energy out of Gator Day.”

“You’re just jealous of my tan.” Zoe flips her sun-streaked bottle-blond hair over one orangey shoulder.

“Your tan that comes straight out of the Spray Garden?” Claire counters, sparking a lot more throwing of décor.

Cara turns to me and rolls her eyes. “How’s your garland coming along?” Her light blue eyes drop down to the pile of nothing in my lap. “Ammo, you know you’re supposed to be stringing this stuffon, right?”

Whoops. Guess my brain is elsewhere. I wonder why.

“I’ve never been good at sewing,” I say sheepishly, putting the string down. “I think I’ll go help Crystal and Nia with the posters.”

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