Page 73 of Unmoored

Murph sighs and takes my hand to squeeze it. “I understand that,” he promises. “But that’s not what I mean. I… I told you to use your body to tell me, remember?”

I nod.How could I forget?

“And you did. But I didn’t listen.”

“What? When?”

“When we were talking about the job. About cancelling the barge party,” Murph says softly. “You slid into that… that thing you do. When you act like everything’s fine and you chatter away to hide whatever’s really going on. And now that I’ve met George…” he trails off, his eyes flashing with fury again. “Well, it makes sense,” he says tightly.

Holy shit.

My throat is almost too tight to gulp. For a guy who isn’t good with words, he’s excruciatingly on the money. I’ve never put this part of me into words before, much less known where it came from.

“I—uh…” I stutter, clearing my throat at last. “Wow. Yeah.” Murph rubs the back of my hand with his thumb like he’s waiting for me to keep talking. So I sigh, finally staring down at the bed. “Yeah. I needed you today. Long before I was in the water. I said it wasn’t a problem, because… well, I wanted to prove myself,” I admit, my cheeks flushing. “Prove that I can do something to make up for being bad at everything else.”

Murph’s big, warm palms close around my cheeks. He lifts my chin until I can just about meet his gaze, and then he kisses me so gently that it almost hurts—until tears prickle in the corners of my eyes.

He finally pulls back, his breath warm against my freshly-kissed lips. “Fuck that,” he whispers. “And fuck the man who made you believe that you ever have to apologize for who you are.”

I can just about manage a shaky smile past the tears. Whenever I remember all the things Murph said to George today, the way he tore him a new one without ever being unkind or untrue…

He’s a real man in ways George will never be.

“Thank you for what you said.” Murph shrugs and grunts, and I smile with all the affection glowing in my chest. “I know you’d rather show it than say it. So it means all the more.”

Murph nods. “But I’m figuring out that sometimes I need to tell you as well as showing you. You’re worth learning that for.”

“Thank you,” I breathe out softly. “And I’ll try to catch myself when I’m being…” I wave my hand. “You know, like that. I want you to see the real Eden. And I want to tell you important things, like… you know, my ex’s name.”

We share a chuckle as Murph strokes my hair softly, rests his hand on the back of my neck. But even as I smile at him, his face falls again with so much guilt that my stomach twists into knots.

“George might be the bad guy here, but I should have done better by you.” Murph shakes his head. “And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything it led to, my love.”

I’ve been trying not to think about it, but I can’t help myself. For a few moments, the tears grab hold of me as the fresh memory surges back to me. “I just felt so alone, and scared, and… helpless,” I clear my throat, scooting closer to Murph so I can press my forehead into his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me, and I clench both hands tightly in the uniform polo shirt he put back on mid-afternoon. “It made me feel like George was right, you know? Like it was all my fault.”

“It wasn’t,” Murph promises fiercely, gathering me into his arms and pulling me until I slide right into his lap. He holds me so tight in that magical way that makes even the ocean depths feel that much further away. “I left you alone when I shouldn’t have. And it’ll never happen again,” he promises. “Never, ever. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

And I believe him. As I melt into his arms, I can let the overwhelm rush through me and then let go of it, too, knowing that I’m safe.

“It’s okay,” I finally mumble, clearing my throat as I blink back tears, sitting up on Murph’s lap so I can look him in the eye again. “You were there when it mattered most.”

Murph frowns. “And from now on, I’ll be there even when you’re not sure whether or not it matters,” he murmurs. “Because you come first, and I want you to know that.”

My heart practically skips a beat. In the furrow of his brow, the raw honesty in his voice… there’s no denying what he’s telling me.

I swallow hard, trying for a little giggle. “Above even the ocean?”

But the way Murph grunts with such ferocious passion, like he can’t even come up with words… holy fuck. “When I saw you fall in…” he trails off and clears his throat a few times, looking away from me. When he finally looks back, he shakes his head. “I’ve never been so scared in my life, Eden. That’s when I knew.”

“Knew what?” I whisper. I can barely even breathe.

“That I’m falling in love with you.”

Despite it all, I grin wider than I think I’ve ever smiled in my life. I unfurl in his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist so I can kiss him over and over again—and reward him for all the words he’s used.

We can live in his more natural mode for a while. Touch each other. Show each other how we’re feeling. I’d like that.

When my head is whirling, I pull back and gasp for air. “I love you, too,” I whisper against Murph’s lips. “And you know what else I love?”

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