Page 167 of Hat Trick

“My dad left when I was younger. I don’t remember much about why he walked out on me and my mom—I might’ve been six or seven at the time—just that he never came back. As I got older, I started to crave attention from men because I wasn’t getting any of it at home. I learned very quickly boys are visual and physical creatures, and kissing them, being intimate with them, was a surefire way to get what I wanted.”

“I’m sorry to hear he left,” Riley says softly, and he takes my hand in his. “That must’ve been tough.”

“It was hard on my mom, but I saw how strong she was. She never put her trust in a man again, and I followed that attitude into my early twenties. It was sex, and just sex. There wasn’t a chance they could walk out on me, because I walked out on them before anyone got attached.” I swallow the lump in my throat and continue. “When I was twenty-four, I met a guy, and we hit it off. One night turned into two, then three. We kept coming back for more, and he made me feelgood. Appreciated. It was mostly physical, but we’d fall asleep talking on the phone. We’d text all day, every day. It lasted a long time—over a year and a half—and it was the first time I thought I might have judged men too harshly.”

“What happened?”

“He told me he had to go out of town for work, and something in my gut told me he was lying. I did a deep dive into his social media and found out he was married with kids. As fate would have it, the next day, a message from his wife popped up in my inbox. She accused me of being a homewrecker. Of being a whore who only wanted what she can’t have, and she told me no man would ever want to date me. I was a temporary fix, a vessel for their pleasure and incapable of connecting with another human on a deeper level.” I pause to take a breath and sneak a glance at him, hoping he’s not about to bolt out of here. “And in a way… I think she was right.”

“Whoa. Hold up. This guy was hiding a wife and children from you andyougot blamed? That’s fucking bullshit,” Riley says, his rage on full display. “You wouldn’t have done that if you knew he wasn’t available.”

“I like to think I wouldn’t. I’ve always been a girl’s girl—you know, a woman who supports other women? Anyway, ithurtto know I betrayed someone, even unknowingly. Ever since then, I’ve been adamant about not letting things get too far with a man. The second I feel like I’m getting attached or veering down a road that leads to something other than mindless sex, I get out.” I pause and look up at him. “Until you.”

“Come here, sweetheart,” he murmurs, opening his arms, and I move to him like I’m being physically pulled his way. I climb in his lap, careful to avoid putting my weight on his residual limb, and stay there, my heartbeat syncing with his. “Thank you for telling me all of that. I know it doesn’t mean much and I know you might not believe me—not yet—but I promise you can trust me. I promise I won’t ever treat you like you’re just a… a thing. Like you’re not this incredible, magnificent woman. And yeah, you’ve made some mistakes, but who the fuck hasn’t? I don’t care about how many people you’ve slept with. I don’t care about the guys who came before me, because I’m the one here with you right now. And I’m so fucking lucky.”

“I haven’t told the girls that story,” I admit. “I always brush it off when they ask why I don’t date and throw in a joke about men not being shit.”

“We aren’t shit.”

I chuckle, then let out a sigh. “I don’t want them to look at me differently because of things I’ve done in the past, especially now that most of them are married. I’d never—a thought like that hasn’t ever crossed my mind, and I’d give up talking to men forever if it meant getting to keep them.”

“They wouldn’t look at you any different. I know they wouldn’t.” Riley rests his chin on top of my head, and it’s freeing to put this out in the open. To let him hear the secret I’ve kept locked away for years, too afraid I’d be burned at the stake if it ever got out. “You’re so strong, Lexi, and I’m so sorry someone took advantage of you. I don’t know if it means much, but you’ve had my attention for years.”

“Please.” I squeeze his arm. “I have not.”

“You don’t believe me?” He untangles our limbs and frowns down at me. “Ask me what my tattoo means.”

“The roller coaster? I know what it means. I was there when you?—”

“No. The constellation.”

I suck in a sharp breath and drop my gaze to the small cluster of stars on his left arm. I haven’t been able to figure out what it might represent.

I lick my lips. Anticipation claws at the base of my spine, and with a shaky hand, I trace the design.

“What does your tattoo mean?” I whisper, and the room is so quiet, I can hear a car horn beeping from all the way across the street.

“It’s the stars in the night sky the day I stepped foot into the arena for the first time. And, consequently, the day I met you.”

“What?”

“Yeah. It was a big day for me.” He folds his hand over mine and guides me to each individual star. There are probably close to two dozen of them, and my heart lurches in my chest. “I signed my ELC. A pretty girl said hello to me. You had a ribbon in your hair, and your smile was the brightest thing I had ever seen.”

“You remember what I was wearing?”

“Down to your high-top sneakers. I wasn’t kidding, Lexi. You’ve been on my mind from the second I locked eyes with you across the ice, and I’d had done just about anything to get you to look at me back then. To get you tokeeplooking at me.”

“The girls would always tell me you had a crush on me, but I always shrugged it off.”

“A crush?” Riley laughs like it’s the most ridiculous thing in the world. “Please. There’s a reason why I haven’t dated anyone since I got to DC. I know not a goddamn one of them would ever compare to you.”

Hell.

It’s the sweetest, most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard, and I guess I must be a romantic now, because I’m climbing back into his lap. Straddling his waist and kissing his cheek, his neck and the soft curve of his mouth.

Knowing I’ve had his attention even when I was busy trying to get it from somewhere else makes me feel like a fool, like I’ve wastedso many good momentsI could’ve had with him, but a part of me heals with his words. He’s looking at my baggage. Sticking out his hand, sayinghere.I can help.

I’ve never felt safe enough with a man to let my guard down. I’ve never felt like I’m worthy enough to stop running and rest my head, but with Riley, I’m opening the gate. I’m inviting him in, asking him to stay. And a sob works its way up my throat when he hugs me tight.

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