Page 350 of Tormented Billionaire Romance Series

“Her name is literally Jane Doe,” I respond.

“Whatever,” Naomi says. “The point is, she doesnotstop looking. After a while, I started to get hungry, though, so I was eating some crackers and drinking some water—”

“What were you really having?” I interrupt.

“Okay, the crackers were imported and I may have slathered them with caviar, but the water was just water,” she says.

“You’re a sterling example of knowing proper boundaries,” I respond.

“I know right,” she says. It takes her this long before she’s looking down at me, saying, “Are you all right?”

“I think it’s over,” I tell her. “That party—I don’t even know if that’s what did it. Ever since I got back there, I just feel like I can’t do anything right.”

“It’s not over,” she says. With a laugh, she adds, “Youwerepretty wasted, though. I almost took some pictures to show you, but I thought that might be a bad idea after the other thing.”

“How bad was I?” I ask.

Naomi returns, “You don’t remember?”

“I think I remember most everything,” I answer. “Honest opinion: was I or was I not the most embarrassing person you’ve ever seen at a party.”

“No,” she says. “But I’ve been to a lot more parties than you.”

She always has to have the upper hand somewhere.

“It’s not on the news or anything, is it?” I ask. “I haven’t exactly been watching a lot of television the last while.”

“You’re fine. Nobody snitched,” Naomi says. “I kind of do think more people could have seen your naked belly flop into the hot tub, though. That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.” She starts laughing and she grabs herself between the legs with both hands, saying, “Ow, my vag!”

I was hoping it hadn’t been that noticeable. At the time, everyone was kind enough to pretend it hadn’t happened. I guess I got into a false comfort zone.

“You’re not telling me something,” I say. “I said it was probably over, you said it’s not. What don’t I know?”

Naomi giggles, “Well, for one thing, you kind of need to turn your hips before you hit the water, otherwise you’re going to get smacked right in the—”

“Notwhat I’m talking about,” I interrupt.

“Oh yeah, right,” she says. “So, I was going through some of Zach’s stuff for perfectly valid purposes and I came across something.”

“Did you want to tell me what it was, or …”

“He’s not breaking up with you,” she says.

“Then why would he send me home?” I ask. “If he’s so gaga over me, why am I lying in my apartment in Mulholland while my annoying kleptomaniac sister keeps clutching herself randomly, mouthing that stupid word.”

“You’re the one that said it,” she says.

I snap back, “Well, it hurt.”

Finally, I’m able to let out at least a little laugh.

Naomi climbs on top of me and starts tapping my forehead. “You’re not listening to me,” she says. I’d try to fight her off, but she’s already kneeling on my arms.

“Okay,” I say, thrashing my head and trying to avoid those bony fingers. “What were you going to tell me?”

“I can’t tell you now,” she says. “The moment’s passed. It was supposed to be this glorious thing and now you’ve ruined it by making me discipline you.”

“Just get off of me!” I grunt as I manage to roll my bodyweight enough that Naomi loses her balance and falls onto the bed next to me.

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