“I planned to save it all for the store,” I replied. I picked up a doll with golden hair and green eyes. She had her name on her underwear, a cute little touch I gave all the dolls. She was Tiffany Green Apple. “But I’ve been thinking that maybe I shouldn’t keep holding on to all of it. There are places I could donate to. Like the children’s hospital, or a Goodwill or something. I haven’t decided.”
Carter nodded. “I think if you donated them, you would make a lot of little children very, very happy. Whatever you decide will be the best, I’m sure.”
I imagined sick little kids holding dolls, kept company by Tiffany Green Apple and DJ Danish and Priscilla Pickles on nights when their parents couldn’t be there. I pictured nurses using the pretend food to entice their ill wards to eat. And I started to smile, envisioning little boys and girls sleeping so much more comfortably with their heads resting on hospital pillows decked out in dinosaur and heart covers they’d picked out themselves.
And then I imagined the same products, on shelves in a store I didn’t own and might never own, the delighted squeals when their parents bought them the toys they wanted. A phantom wave of pride warmed my chest.
This is why I can’t decide. What’s right? What’s wrong? Am I selfish to keep dreaming?
Carter cleared his throat and put his hand on my shoulder. “Megyn, if you don’t mind, I’d like to stay and help you clean a little.”
I jerked out of my daydreams. “You really don’t have to do that.”
“But I want to.”
And there wasn’t really anything I could do to change his mind, I knew, so I didn’t even try. I put him to work with getting all the toys back in their boxes and when that was done, assigned him to vacuum duty. He zipped around with that vacuum like it was his job and I couldn’t help but to smile every time I saw him at it.
A few hours later and I had had enough cleaning. It was more like I really needed to sleep or I would pass out in the bathroom while scrubbing the toilet. I went in search of Carter to see what he was up to, since I hadn’t heard the vacuum in a few minutes.
I found him in the kitchen, leaning over the sink with his head tilted at an odd angle.
“What are we looking at?” I whispered, coming up beside him.
Carter pointed and shifted aside.
I stepped up where he had been and took a peek. A big blue van parked a few houses down had some people milling around outside of it in a way that could only be called suspicious. The people got back inside their van and drove off.
I looked up at Carter. “What was that? Was that a news van?”
“I think so.”
I peered out the window again, but the van hadn’t returned. “Was something happening out there?”
Carter sighed and ran his hand over his hair. “I think they were looking for your house, Megyn. They walked around a lot and seemed especially interested in yours, but they must not have been sure.”
“Why my house?”
His green gaze was dark. “Because I’m here.”
“Oh.”
“They might be trying to exploit us.”
I put my back to the window. “You mean me.”
“Megyn…”
“Well? You’re you. And I’m me. I’m the girl with the sad life you’ve chosen to date. If they really were looking for me, you know that would be why.”
Carter held out his arms to me.
I hesitated, but I did feel a lot better after having worked alongside him for the past little while. I went into his arms and lay my head on his shoulder.
Carter folded his body around mine and held me close to his chest. His warm breath tickled my ear. “If anything, you can use this as free marketing for your dolls.”
I surprised myself by smiling. “Leave it to you to look at things on the bright side.”
“That’s what I want to be for you.”