Page 8 of Serenity

ChapterThree

Faith

Iracedinto our bedroom after disconnecting the call with Dillon. There was barely enough time to make me look normal since I was a total mess. I was going to try my hardest though, because I didn’t want Dillon to notice anything wrong with me. And with my puffy, red-rimmed eyes, it was going to take a lot of drops and makeup for that tohappen.

I’d spent most of the day obsessing over the envelope I’d swiped from Elaine and Lloyd’s mailbox. I’d pulled the letters out of it over and over again. I’d reread what I’d written to my donor family at least a hundred times, tearing up each and every time. But the real crying came when I smoothed out the type-written letter on the transplant center’s letterhead. The one that I kept hoping would say something different when I opened it the next time. Only it was always the same; the transplant center letting Elaine and Lloyd know that the recipient of one of Declan’s kidneys wanted to reach out to them and they were forwarding theirletter.

Myletter.

Iwas the recipient of one of Declan’skidneys.

Dillon’s twin’s death was the reason I wasalive.

The Montgomerys had been the ones to give me a second chance. And I was petrified that it would be the reason my world was going to be torn apart—if I ever told Dillon thetruth.

“Don’t think about that now,” I mumbled to myself as I peered at my reflection in the mirror, twisting open the bottle of eye drops and squirting both my eyes. I blinked furiously, trying to ease the sting, and dabbed at them with a washcloth. “You’d better pull yourself togetherorelse.”

I was already doing a crappy job of pretending like nothing was wrong with me. The last thing I needed was for Dillon to realize I’d been crying because that was guaranteed to be the end of his patience. My time would be up, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to run the risk of losing him.Notyet.

I kept trying to convince myself that the news wouldn’t change anything between us, but how could it not? Dillon had been destroyed by his brother’s death. It had left him reeling for years. Until me. But could I still bring light to his world if he knew that I been a part of the darknessbackthen?

“You’re so fucked,” I grumbled as I brushed some powder on my face and swept mascara onto mylashes.

I had a hard time believing Dillon would still want me in his life if he knew the truth. I didn’t even understand what he saw in me in the first place. Or how he’d fallen in love with me. It was impossible to think he wouldn’t look at me differently if the news got out. That it wouldn’t changeeverything.

“It’s not like anyone else wanted you in their life enough to stick around,” I reminded myreflection.

My eyes filled with tears, but I refused to let them fall. I’d cried enough today already. And I really needed to stop with all the negativity before I let my abandonment issues toss me into a downwardspiral.

“Don’t let this be a self-fulfilling prophecy.” Sarah had forced me to see a few therapists over the years, and the one who I liked best had warned me that my fear of people leaving could end up with me forcing them right out of my life. And she’d been right. It was the reason I never let anyone too close. Until Dillon came barreling into my world and blew my walls apart. I’d let him inside and I needed to find a way to be fearless now that he was there. Which meant figuring out a way to come to terms with the shocking news I’d learned and decide what to doaboutit.

“Just not right at thismoment.”

I got my butt in gear and finished getting ready. I was pulling on my shoes when Dillon beeped the horn from the driveway. Slapping a pair of sunglasses on my face, I headed outside and blew him a kiss after I climbed into the passenger seat ofhisSUV.

Dillon wrapped his palm around the back of my head and tugged me towards him. His lips crashed against mine, and all my worries fled as I lost myself in his kiss. It was in the moments when we were the closest that I forgot to be afraid. That I felt like our love could withstand anything. And when he finally pulled away, I tried my best to hold on to thatconfidence.

“So where are youtakingme?”

He slid his hand along my thigh and laced his fingers through mine where they rested on top of my knee. “You wantahint?”

“Yes!” Trying to guess what he was up to was one of the best part of hissurprises.

“Okay.” He squeezed my hand and flashed me a grin. “Thinkbig.”

“Howbig?”

“It’s smaller than my SUV but bigger than that bike over there.” He lifted his hand off my knee and pointed out the windshield to a little girl riding a bright pink bike on thesidewalk.

“We’re going somewhere smaller than this?” I looked around the interior of the vehicle and tried to figure out a place that could possibly fit his hint. “Are you building me a treehouse?”

“A tree house? Really? That’s your guess?” He shook his head and chuckled. “Could you get any morerandom?”

“I probably could, but it’s notthatrandom.” His chuckle turned into an outright laugh and I slugged him in the shoulder. “Hey! A tree house is smaller than your SUV so it fits thedescription.”

“Still, there has to be more than that to it since there are about a million things you could have guessedinstead.”

“I don’t know.” I shrugged and twisted my hands in my lap. “It’sdumb.”

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