Page 37 of Serenity

“Stop.” I tilted her chin up and pressed a gentle kiss against her lips, not liking the worry I saw in her pretty eyes. Especially since I wasn’t sure if it was there out of concern for me or was because of a lack of confidence in how I felt about her. “If I’m here, you’re here. That’s how it’s going to be for a while unless I have to be in the office. I don’t care if that sounds needy as fuck, or codependent, or wherever the hell you want to call it. After the shit we just went through, I needyounear.”

“I do too,” she admittedsoftly.

I figured she did, and it was part of the reason why sticking close to her was so damn important to me. The way I’d handled the situation had given her doubts. In herself and in us. Now that I’d managed to pull my head out of my ass when it came to our relationship, I was going to fix that for her. Period. End of story. No matter what other shit I had to deal with in my life, Faith camefirst.

“And my only experience with therapy didn’t go too good, so it helps thatyou’rehere.”

“Always,” she promised. “Even though you don’t need to worry. Mrs. Crabtree is nothing like the psychiatrist you sawbefore.”

I chuckled at her name, shaking my head. “I still can’t believe your therapist’s name isCrabtree.”

“Yes, it presents an uphill battle with some patients. I probably should have given it more thought when I agreed to take my husband’s name and use itprofessionally.”

I turned towards the door that had been closed ever since the receptionist led us into the waiting room and let us know the therapist would be done with her last appointment soon. A tall woman with black hair liberally streaked with gray and kind, blue eyes stood there. Even though she was dressed nicely in a long skirt and button-up blouse, she didn’t quite fit how I expected a therapist to look. She seemed more thegrandmotherlytype.

“Sorry,” Imumbled.

“There’s no need to apologize. You know what they say about eavesdroppers and hearing nothing good about themselves. I’ve certainly heard worse.” She waved off my concern. “But I’ll keep on eavesdropping anyway, because it usually gives me an excellent opportunity to get a picture of how people behave when they think they aren’t being observed by a trainedprofessional.”

She walked towards us, and I stood up when Faith did but awkwardly hung back as they hugged. Faith wasn’t affectionate with many people, and seeing her reaction to Mrs. Crabtree helped to alleviate any lingering doubts I had about this being agoodidea.

“And you must be Dillon.” Mrs. Crabtree beamed a smile my way. “I’m sorry you two are going through a difficult time, but I’m so glad to have the chance to meet the guy who put in the effort in to break down Faith’s walls. Even with the short amount of time I talked to her on the phone earlier today and observing you for a couple of minutes, I can already tell you love her very much. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me since Faith is aspecialgirl.”

Those doubts that had already been wiped away? They were replaced by approval with the way she was talking about Faith. It wasn’t just what she said, either. It was how her eyes and voice softened. I knew she wasn’t just bull-shitting me. She really cared about Faith, and that was all it took for me to feel comfortable. “It’s nice tomeetyou.”

“So.” She clapped her hands together. “Who wants to talk to me first? Or do you want to come in together at first? You guys are in control of how you want thistogo.”

I turned to Faith. “What do youthink,baby?”

“I’m okay with whatever you decide. I know I didn’t handle everything very well in the beginning”—she lowered her voice and stepped closer to me—“when you were gone. But I swear I’m on top of it now. It’s you I’m worried about. With you at my side, I’m already in a better place. I know I’ll be able to work through my issues and move on from here. But you? You got knocked down really fucking hard by all of this, and I don’t know how you managed to get back up again because this is some heavy shit todealwith.”

“I got back up because Ihaveyou.”

“And now I’m going to be totally unprofessional and start crying,” Mrs. Crabtree mumbled. I turned to find her dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. “I should probably tell you guys that it would be better to speak with each of you in private so you don’t feel the need to police your thoughts out of a desire to protect each other. But I can’t help but observe that it looks like it’d take a crowbar to pry you two apart from each other at themoment.”

“Probably because it would take more than a crowbar,” I muttered, my hand wrapping around Faith’s and tugging her evencloser.

“Together,” Faith blurted out. “We’d like to starttogether.”

“Okay, then let’s do this.” She opened her office door and led us inside. Faith and I sat next to each other on the couch, and Mrs. Crabtree took the chair that was perpendicular to it. When she got settled, she smiled at both of us but settled her gaze on me. “Faith told me a little bit on the phone this morning; about your brother’s death, the transplants, and how you just discovered the truth. I’d like if you could describe it to me from yourperspective.”

"I wouldn’t even know where tobegin.”

“Why don’t you start with a happy memory of your brother? And then we can move on from there,” shesuggested.

So that’s what I did. I spent the next hour spilling my guts to Mrs. Crabtree with Faith’s hand clenched in mine. When our time was up, my heart felt a little lighter, but I knew we’d barely made any progress. I wasn’t even sure how she was going to be able to make my world right again. Not with Declan gone. “The person I feel like I need to talk to about this the most is dead. What am I supposed to doaboutthat?”

“I have a suggestion, but I don’t think you’re ready for it yet. I’ll get you there, though. It’s just going to take some work.” She smiled at us apologetically. “And most of that’s going to need to be one-on-one.”

“Whatever it takes, Doc.” I had to find a way to come to terms with everything that had happened. For myself. For Faith. And for myparents.

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