Page 29 of Serenity

ChapterTwelve

Faith

Dillon lookedlike he was about ready to fall off his chair. His skin had paled, and his eyes looked glassy. His chest started to rise and fall rapidly, and Dr. Stewart swiftly moved tohisside.

“Put your head between your legs and try to take slow, deep breaths.” He pushed on his back until Dillon had done as he’d instructed. Then he lifted Dillon’s arm and pressed his fingers against the inside of his wrist. After a little while, he let go and stepped away. “Your pulse is good. Your breathing sounds better. Let’s get you up and make sureyou’reokay.”

“I need a minute. Please.” The words were practically torn from his throat, and I wanted to weep for the sorrow I heard in his tone. Dr. Stewart moved near the door, and we waited in silence for Dillon to absorb the shock of what he’d just learned. It took a good five to ten minutes before Dillon sat up and assured us hewasokay.

“You didn’t know about the transplant?” Dr. Stewart asked the question I already knew theanswerto.

“No,” Dillon and I answered inunison.

“Dillon always thought his brother died during the car accident they were in,” I explained. “His parents hid the truth from him, and he didn’t find out until almost a week ago when we discovered that Declan was mydonor.”

“Only there must have been a hell of a lot more to the story than they admitted to when I talked to them this morning,” Dillon added. “Because they sure as shit didn’t mention anything about me getting Declan’sheart.”

“Since you and your twin were genetically identical, it would have meant that you didn't have to take immunosuppression drugs because your body would accept the new organ as your own.” Dr. Stewart tapped on the tablet’s screen. “But this is highly unusual. I’m surprised your medical team was willing to go along with thedeception.”

“Yeah, me too,” Dillon snorted. “It had to have been the crackpot psychiatrist who convinced them it would be better for me not to know that Declan survived the crash and lasted for another month. They must have also told my parents that I couldn’t handle knowing that his heart pumps in mychest.”

“They’d have needed to be extremely convincing to get your doctors on board withthatplan.”

“Maybe it was because of his age?” I suggested. “He was only seventeen, so he was still a minor atthetime.”

“That’s possible. It isn’t unusual for families to be concerned that knowledge of a life-threatening diagnosis will harm the patient’s psychological and physiological well-being. I could see how the same might apply inthiscase.”

Dillon shot to his feet and paced the floor. “And that’d be enough for the doctors to lie to me about what kind of surgeryIhad?”

Dr. Stewart nodded. “Physicians sometimes withhold medical information from a patient if they believe the information would harm the patient’s overall health. We refer to it as ‘therapeutic privilege.’ Of course, there are ethical dilemmas raised by nondisclosure requests when made by a parent of a minor patient. It’s difficult for medical personnel to reconcile their obligation to the patient with the parents’ authority to make decisions on behalf ofchild.”

“It doesn’t matter what you call it, Doc. Or how hard it was for the doctors to agree with my parents’ request.” Dillon’s fists were clenched so hard, his knuckles looked white. “No amount of fancy words are going to make it easier for me toaccept.”

“And I’m truly sorry for that, Dillon. Had I known that you weren’t aware of your full medical history, I would have delivered the news in a gentler manner.” Dr. Stewart swiped at the tablet’s screen again. “We didn’t get far enough into your medical history review to find the notes about the decision to withhold the information to you. They’ve only had the chance to pass along the diagnosis codes so far, and I noticed the heart transplant onthelist.”

“It’s not your fault, Doc. There’s no way you could’ve made this any easier for me. Nobodycould’ve.”

“I’m still sorry all the same.” Dr. Stewart clapped him on the back before walking towards the door. “I’ll give you two some alone time. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about, and Faith will be stuck here at least until tomorrow morning. Privacy is hard to come by around here, so you need to make the most of it whenyoucan.”

“C’mere.” I scooted over and patted the mattress. When he sat down, I tugged on his arm until he laid down nexttome.

“I can’t believe it.” He pressed his hand against his chest. “Declan didn’t just save your life. He savedminetoo.”

“He did.” I didn’t know what else to say. How to help him through this. So I stroked my fingers through his hair for about ten minutes until he was ready to talkagain.

“They lied to me about when he died. How he died. My surgery. I don’t know what to believe anymore. What’s true and what’s a lie.” He banged his fist on the other side of the mattress several times, his chestheaving.

I leaned my head against his shoulder. “Believeinme.”

“I do.” He shook his head. “I don’t deserve to after the shit I pulled, but you’re the only thing I can hold onto right about now. The only thing in my life that’s real. That I cantrust.”

“Don’t beat yourself up too much. You already promised me it would never happen again, and you’ve taken enough hits lately.” Having seen firsthand how badly the bomb Dr. Stewart had just dropped on Dillon had impacted him, my forgiveness was quickly moving towardsforgetting.

If I was being completely honest with myself, part of it might have been because I didn’t worry about him looking at me differently anymore. I wasn’t the only one of us walking around with one of Declan’s organs in them. Dillon was too. In a weird way, I found that a little comforting since he’d have to hate himself if he was going to hate me. And vice versa. If he got to the point where this made him feel even more guilty about his twin’s death than he already did, I could remind him that he wasn’t the only one who’d benefited from Declan dying. We were both alive because of it, so we were in this together even more than we had beenbefore.

“Thanks, baby.” He kissed me on the top of my head, and I snuggled intohisside.

He fell quiet again, and his body was tense. I knew he was obsessing over the situation, and I wished I could make him forget. If even just for a little bit. But we were in the hospital, so our options were limited. “You want to zone out and watchsomeTV?”

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