You now cringe and turn away.
This wasn’t part of the blocking, but I turn to face the camera with my left side, my burned side.
The world has made it ugly,
Your gorgeous monstrosity.
I can barely see past the bright lights, but even with that limiting my vision, I can see the cringey looks on a few faces—the closest cameraman, for one. I channel my feelings about that, about all the people who cringe when they see me, about the people who are supposed to love me the most, but turned their faces away in disgust. That always makes it easy to keep from crying and instead hit my cue.
Anger trumps vulnerability every time.
You told me I was gorgeous.
You told me I was beloved.
You said you would be faithful.
No matter what the world did.
All the joy inside me,
My hope for a brighter day,
The monster consumed it all,
And I became beast and also prey.
This wasn’t in the blocking, but Jake turns back my way. He walks away from the women in grey beside him, and he holds his hand out toward me. When I come in again, he joins me.
The world is dark and terrifying.
That much, at least, was true.
But those who spoke of beauty
Were the villains, not me and you.
It’s not my face at fault here
It’s those who glare and jeer
The real beast lives inside of them,
They get back what they give.
I’m not sure why he did it. Maybe it was their plan all along. Maybe he meant to surprise me by providing support before the song called for it. Either way, it works. Tears well up in my eyes and spill over, streaming down my face. I choke them back though, and when the final rise comes, I’m ready for it.
Again, Jake sings a harmonizing line, just below mine. And as we first start, singing the lines, Stop looking to slay monsters,
And start working on yourself, he slides his hand over mine, lacing our fingers together.
My voice hitches a little, but I keep singing.
The gorgeous monstrosity you should fear
Is the one you see in the mirror.
Work on the creature only you can tame,