Page 21 of Loaded

“You looked like Will Smith inHitch,” he says. “Actually, you looked worse.” He’s gesturing. “Your ears were like?—”

This time, my foot connects with his shin hard.

“Like what?” Bea looks entertained at least.

“The swelling went down as soon as I got epinephrine on board,” I say. “And I hardly think you’re planning to sting me.”

“You never know,” Matt says. “She looks feisty.”

Bea immediately ducks her head, and it’s so stinking cute. She recovers quickly, at least. “You didn’t tell me about your favorite meal yet,” she says. “I’ll need to know about that one and about your worst, too.”

“Hmm.” Matt frowns. “I guess I’m not that picky. I like pizza, and I like tacos, and I like hot dogs.”

Bea chuckles. “You’re really making me work for this.”

Matt shrugs. “I’m not very fancy, I guess. You said you want my worst too?” He sighs. “This one time, my roommate dared me to eat some meat that had been sitting out?—”

“Okay,” I say. “I think we’ve heard enough.”

Bea’s shaking her head when she walks off.

“Dude, isshewhy you called me over here?” Matt’s grinning like a loon. “Because if not, I call dibs. She’s smokin’.”

“Yes, I called you to help me.” I scowl. “You could whisper, at least.”

“Fine.” Matt leans closer. “But dude, I’m not sure how well it’s going. She seemed pretty annoyed.”

“I had a plan.” I fill him in on how my grand gesture backfired.

“Dude, that was a terrible idea.”

“I figured that out right before she started bawling.” I groan. “I’m hoping she believes that I was kidding,” I say. “I did successfully set up weekly board meetings here every Tuesday, so I’ll see her at least once a week.”

“Wait, your plan is to force her to serve you for a work thing?” Matt’s whole face scrunches up. “Yeesh.”

“Is it really a bad idea?”

“You’re tall, good looking, funny, and really smart.Oh yeah, and you’re freakingloaded. Why didn’t you just ask her out?”

“I did,” I say. “She said no.”

Matt leans back, exhaling. “You really should have led with that, my man.”

“Why? Does that give you a better idea?”

He shakes his head slowly. “If she knows all that and she still said no?” He shrugs. “Chick’s probably gay.”

“If she doesn’t like me, she must like women?”

Matt looks pretty grim. “The other option is worse, honestly. Because the only other reason she’d turn you down is that she just straight up doesn’t like you. You can fix a lot, but you can’t fix someone being uninterested.”

He’s right.

It is worse.

Two seconds later, Bea waltzes over, setting a large round plate on the table. Up until now, they’ve all been square-edged, so this is new. It’s loaded up with french fries, covered with bacon, peppers, and parmesan cheese, judging from the smell.

“Was this even on the menu?” I ask.

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