Page 28 of Body Count

Maybe it was my irritation with Eddie, lingering even though I thought I’d moved on.I wrote back,You gotta talk to me a little first, bro.

He sent one of those goofy emojis back, and thenu hung

Try this, I wrote back.How’s your day going?

There was definitely a delay—maybe he was trying to decide if there were any easier prospects out there—but eventually he wrote back:pretty chill hbu

I started to write,All right.And then, instead, I wrote,Pretty fucking terrible.

Less of a delay this time.u ok

I stared at the phone for a long time.No.

maybe u need to nut

A laugh burst out of me.How old are you?

19

Jesus Christ, I thought.I slouched in my chair, surprised by how tired I felt.

my buddy wants to eat your cum out of my ass

And then:that cool

I closed the app.I was hot.A rush went through me, and my eyes stung, and I dropped my phone and put my head in my hands.Jesus Christ, I thought again.And then, more fractured: What the fuck had I expected?

The sound of a door opening made me sit up and wipe my face.

“Detective Dulac?”

He was still technically Lieutenant Peterson.I wasn’t even sure they’d given him the title of Acting Chief, which was pretty shitty, all things considered.But he used my boy John-Henry’s office now.He’d started in February, when we all had to start facing facts.

Peterson stood in his doorway, considering me.He was Black, thin, his expression giving away nothing.My first thought was that Eddie Wheeler had called him.Then he said, “Everything all right?”

“Yeah, Chief.Sure.”When he didn’t say anything, I added, “Working late.”

He made a noncommittal noise.

Off in the distance, a vacuum came on; the cleaning crew must have started.

“How are you holding up?”

“Fine, sir.”

Peterson nodded.But he didn’t leave, and the vacuum kept droning.He locked his door, put his keys in his pocket, and said, “Finding that boy, that would have been a lot for anyone.”

“No big deal, sir.”

“I should have talked to you about it earlier.”

“I’m fine, Chief.Nothing to talk about.”

He nodded.“If there is, though, you know my door’s always open.”

I didn’t say anything to that.

“We’re happy to have you back, Gray.”His voice wasn’t exactly gentle, but it was calm and quiet and deep.“Everybody wants you to be here.You’re part of this team.You do good work.A lot of people around here look up to you.But you’ve got to take care of yourself too.”

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