Page 50 of When the Smoke Clears

“Oh, no,” Sammi laughs. “I’m helpless in the kitchen.”

That’s a twist I didn’t expect. In my head, Sammi would’ve naturally followed in her mother’s love for the kitchen, but it’s an outdated assumption. “Oh.”

“Are Daddy and Sutton out?”

Daddy. It’s sweet. I didn’t have the opportunity to be a daddy’s girl, but I wonder what that would’ve been like. “Yes. They started early this morning.”

“I knowthat’sthe truth.” There’s a note of sarcasm in her voice. “They’re always up before the rooster crows. I never had it in me. I’d be in so much trouble if I had to stay on the ranch.”

I laugh knowingly. “I’ve never been a morning person either, until now.”

“Oh no! Did Sutton rope you into ranch life? You tell my brother he can’t make you get up if you don’t want to. You’re an independent woman and he can’t force you into cow manure and forced baby-making.”

“Are we still talking about the cows?” The playful question tumbles off my lips as I take in her short rant.

“Ohmygod!” That sets her into a fit of laughter, going until she can’t breathe. I check on Andi at the counter, but she doesn’t seem to care what’s happening on the phone as she makes a neat ball of dough, wrapping it in plastic wrap. Sammi manages to compose herself. “Yes, I was referring to the cows being forced to breed.” Her words are almost breathless.

I chuckle. “Well, no worries. Sutton has never asked me to get up with him. In fact, he’s really quiet in the morning. He always leaves me coffee, though.”

“Coffee?” She contemplates this for a moment as I hum affirmation. “He doesn’t even like coffee.”

A wide smile splits my face. “I know. He prefers water. Or juice, sometimes.”

“Wow.”

Andi sets the dough away and I gesture the phone in an offering. She waves me away and works on cleaning up the counter. I decide, without a doubt, this was a setup. She quietly hums a song I don’t know.

“So, when are you two coming up here?” Sammi’s words come out in a rush.

“Um, I’m not sure. We’ve had…”

“It’s ok,” Sammi says, softly. “You don’t have to explain…I kind of heard.”

That doesn’t really come as a surprise. “Yeah.” I inhale deeply. “Well, Sutton mentioned coming up soon, so it’s a definite. I’m sorry we haven’t scheduled something already, but I am looking forward to meeting you and your family.”

“I am, too.” A baby cries. “That’s Vivi. I have to run. Tell everyone I love them. Nice talking to you, Maci.”

“You, too. Bye.” I wait for her to hang up, standing with the phone against my ear for longer than necessary. A new ache infiltrates my chest.

I assume most only-children always want a sibling. Someone to play with. I didn’t. I did want that connection, though. More so since my dad was out of the picture and Stephanie was so distant.

My best friends filled that for me in many ways. Still, I can’t help but hope that Sammi and I could form a strong bond someday.

Chapter 17

Sutton

Gettinggoinginthemorning has always been easy for me. But now that Maci occupies the bed, it’s been hard to start my day. She isn’t talking about it, but her sleep is restless. Sometimes she wakes in the middle of the night and doesn’t fall back asleep until the early hours of the morning. My touch doesn’t provide all the comfort she needs right now. Laying next to someone you want to help and not being able to do anything is a really fucked-up feeling to have. Knowing there are some things she’s going to have to work through without me sucks.

Thankfully, all of the fall calves have been delivered and the herd is in good shape, so if I’m the last one out, no one says a word. Not that they would. There’s still plenty to do around here, and I want to focus on getting the ranch team as organized as possible. It’s time for me to start determining who fills my shoes. The potential addition of the property next door has me thinking of all the ways we need to increase our efficiency, and how I can’t be the only one holding on to all the information. Which is why I’ve asked the ranch hands to meet me for a sit-down meeting. Hopefully I haven’t scared them, seeing as how we don’t really have these very often.

During the meeting with my dad, just before I met Maci, we discussed a slow transition. Yet somehow, we’ve fallen into it faster than I expected. I still keep Dad updated, but even with everything going on, he hasn’t been as present.

I know him too well to think it’s anything more than him letting me do things my way. Come into my own or some thoughtful phrase like that.

I’ve just stepped into the bunkhouse to meet with the crew when my phone rings. I have no reason to think it’s anything serious, but that doesn’t stop me from checking, and I’m surprised to see Terrence’s name flash on the caller ID.

“Good morning, sir.” I step back outside the door and shut it behind me.

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