Page 4 of When the Smoke Clears

Sutton

Macidozesonandoff on the ride. Several nurses descend on her the second we’re in the ER, and I alternate between trying to stay close and trying to stay out of the way while they draw blood and start an IV. When they disperse, instinct takes over and I get closer, sliding my hand over hers.

I can’t help but stand watch over her. It doesn’t matter that Colt is no longer a threat. I almost lost her. I’m not completely sure of all the damage, and his fucking knife is still sticking out of her.

Her body stays rigid. She threads her fingers with mine but won’t open her eyes, even though I know she’s awake.

Maci’s really good at creating walls around herself. To a fault even. So I stay put, rubbing her hand, letting her know I’m here on this side when she’s ready to come out. Past that, it doesn’t feel right to push her now.

Eventually, the doctor comes in and Maci opens her eyes, glassy and far from rested. He introduces himself and begins poking around her abdomen and side. She flinches and grits her teeth. Her grip on my hand tightens, but she stares vacantly at the ceiling. It’s less reaction than we got at the house, and I can’t help the nerves that race through me, wondering if she’s losing feeling or just putting on a brave face.

I want to break something. To cause damage as retribution for what she’s going through. Instead, my thumb continues to rub circles over the back of her hand.

It can’t be more than thirty seconds before he speaks, even if it feels like a lifetime of anticipation. “We’re going to take you back to surgery to remove this knife.”

“Say what?” The words fly out before I can stop them.

The doctor looks at me blankly. “Safety precaution.” He looks between Maci and me. “This wound has the potential to be painful but otherwise unremarkable, or we could be looking at something much more serious. We would see a lot more bleeding if it were an artery, but that doesn’t rule out any organs being damaged.”

Maci’s eyes widen, and I add my other hand to the mix trying to infuse comfort into her. I know it’s no use. I wasn’t there when it happened, and I can’t do anything now.

“What kind of organ damage?” Maci’s words are measured, careful.

“Hard to say without seeing. Our biggest concern is going to be intestines. There’s also a threat to reproductive organs.”

Her eyes shift to me, wide and unseeing. They’re full of tears again. If that motherfucker wasn’t dead already, I’d kill him myself.

How did I manage to fail her both times she needed to defend herself?

The doctor continues, unphased. “You’ll be under anesthesia in the operating room.”

Maci’s hold on my hand intensifies and I give her a softer squeeze in return, but I doubt it does anything to comfort her.

“Some more obvious side effects of anesthesia are confusion and drowsiness, but some people experience nausea and vomiting. There are some bigger risks. The nurses will go over everything, and you’ll need to sign a couple forms before we get started.”

His lips press into a bland, forced smile before he pats the foot of the bed and leaves. This is just another day for him.

“Paperwork, my favorite.” Maci tries to grin at me, but it’s tired.

“You afraid they won’t like your handwriting, Firecracker?”

She gives me a half-smile and breathes a laugh. “No. I’ve just never had surgery to remove a foreign object before. Didn’t know what to expect.”

This woman is fucking amazing. She’s laying on this shitty hospital bed with a psycho’s knife sticking out of her body, and she’s cracking jokes.

It doesn’t stop me from wondering how this will affect us long term. Maci was just starting to open up with me. This has the potential to cause her to shut down in a big way, proven by her shields firmly in place right now.

The nurse pushes her way in with paperwork and a clipboard. “Hey sweetheart, let’s get you ready for surgery.”

The moment they wheel Maci to the operating room, the gravity of the situation overtakes me. I stand, alone, in the emergency bay, willing myself not to punch a hole in the wall.

Footsteps approach from the hallway. “Hey, man.” Nick’s voice is softer than usual.

I turn abruptly. He waves politely to another nurse, who gives a tight-lipped smile and walks away.

“I followed as soon as I could. They’ve sealed off the property for the investigation, so I got out of the way.” He scans the empty space. “How’s it going here? Where’s Maci?”

“She’s in fucking surgery.” My head hangs, the words sounding defeated. If this goes sideways, I don’t know if I can make it out the other side. Even thinking it to myself is crazy. I thought my life was full before Maci came along. I love my role at the ranch, have a wonderful family, and good friends. But now? I can’t imagine life without her in it.

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