Page 21 of When the Smoke Clears

“Exactly. So I don’t want to pile on another thing for him to worry over.”

“Maci Grace, you both had a scare. It’s going to take some time for things to right themselves. But you keeping things from him isn’t going to stop him from worrying.”

“I know.” I study the tinfoil intently.

“Eat. Then we can go get the rest of your stuff from Nana’s.” She stands and picks up a taco from the desk.

Nana’s? It’s true, the only things I have are items I accidentally left after the first weekend I stayed here, and the couple of items my friends packed. Still, I hadn’t considered going over there.

“It’s ok. I’ll just run some laundry here. I’m sure you two have things to do today.”

“I’m off,” Leah says, opening another taco. She watches me blankly while she chews, but I know better.

Leah isn’t pushy in the way Izzy is. She doesn’t ask the hard questions or push me toward the things that make me uncomfortable. But she still makes a point in her own bold way.

I scowl at her. “How’s Lily?” Two can play that game. She’s made a point to use Nana’s passing and the things going in my life as an excuse not to talk about her own, but I know better.

She swallows and sticks her tongue out at me. “I’ll manage my sister. Quit deflecting.”

Izzy sighs. “Well, I’m not off today. I have time, but if you don’t want to go over there, I’m not going to force you.” There’s an unasked question hanging on the end of her sentence.

I blink. “I’m just not ready.”

“Ok. I understand.”

An angry part of me rears up, saying she doesn’t understand—she can’t possibly—before guilt creeps in. None of this is her fault, or anyone else’s who’s looking out for me. And it’s not like she’s pushing.

“So, what’s the plan? You’re staying here?” Leah wads up her taco wrappers.

“For now. We haven’t set a date on me leaving, but when I’m healed, I’ll head back to Nana’s.”

“Mhmmm.” Leah’s drawn-out hum rings with skepticism.

“What?”

“Oh! Nothing!” Leah feigns surprise, her eyes huge as she blinks repeatedly at me.

This time, I stick my tongue out at her.

Izzy snickers from her place near the desk.

We finish our breakfast with discussion of Thanksgiving, and I’m grateful for the topic change, even if I have no idea what the holiday will look like for me.

We clean up our trash and head to Izzy’s car parked in the drive.

Daisy rounds the other side of the house as we near the front porch steps. She beelines for me, albeit slowly, because she’s a cow. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t experience a flutter of warmth at her memory.

“What the fuck?” Leah nearly screeches next to me.

“It’s just Daisy.” I smile and meet Daisy halfway.

“Of course Sutton’s cow is named Daisy.”

Daisy boops me with her cold, wet muzzle. I giggle and rub the bridge of her nose. She’s gentler than the last time she greeted me, which I’m thankful for given the circumstances.

“I doubt he named her,” Izzy chimes in.

Hoofbeats thud along the ground, drawing all of our attention. Sutton comes around the house from the same side Daisy did, astride Johnny Walker, his red gelding.

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