Page 114 of When the Smoke Clears

I thrust into her fully and she cries out. I’ve never been more in tune with anyone in my life. Her arms wrap around me and she grips my shoulder blades with her nails. I will let her tear me to shreds, take any pain she wants to dole out if it helps her. Focused on her breathing and the way she’s clutching me tightly, I pull back and thrust into her again. She hisses a “yes” against me and I give in to her desires.

This isn’t like the other times we’ve been together. It’s not playful, or sweet, or lustful. It’s a deep need to feel a permanent connection, a desire to feel tethered to someone on a primal level. She needs to override every bad thing that happened here and know that when the world is crumbling, she still belongs to someone. And I need her to know that I would willingly walk through hell with her.

Our pace quickens as we move together. Our mingled sounds drift up to the star-filled sky. In this moment, no one else on earth exists. We’re just two beings in the wild world with a crackling fire as our soundtrack.

She grips me tighter as her orgasm bursts through her.

“That’s it. Give it to me. Everything you’re feeling now is me. Inside you. Around you. It’s all me.”

My name falls off her lips. “I love you,” she whispers.

That’s all I need to spill inside her. To claim every part of her, inside and out. Our bodies wrap tightly together as my heart beats furiously against hers and my own release barrels through me.

Maci will be my wife one day. But this night will also be as fundamentally important as that. Overcoming hell and claiming each other and our happiness where so much was taken that night. This place and this life is ours.

Chapter 41

Maci

TrustingSuttoncomesnaturally.Even the first time he asked me on the dance floor, when I was hesitant to give the true answer, I’ve always trusted him. Letting him lead tonight, to bring me back to the scene that’s replayed in my sleep for weeks, may not have been easy, but it was never something I doubted.

Time and again, he has proven that he’s going to be there for me. Part of him is holding on to some idea that he needed to be there that night. Maybe he’s trying to make up for that somehow, but he doesn’t need to.

We lay on the blanket, a tangle of limbs, with a cooling sweat coating our skin. His fingers trace absent-minded circles on my shoulder as I press against him. It reminds me of the night he brought me cheesecake and we rocked on the porch swing here. It’s been mere weeks since then, and in some ways seems so long ago.

Peace shrouds me in a way I haven’t known for a while. My eyes flutter closed.

“Thank you for doing this. I’ve been trying to do it on my own and I’ve only gotten so far. Coming with Izzy and Leah during the day was a start, but being here at night, with you…it’s more helpful than you know. I can’t say I’ll never have a bad thought here, but this space feels more like mine again.”

Sutton kisses my head. His fingers dance over my shoulder. “That’s all I want.”

Gravel crunches on the drive. Sutton’s fingers halt, and I hold my breath. A door slams.

Both of our heads pop up and dread washes over me. “Fuck. It’s Stephanie.”

“Perfect.” Sutton’s mutter is muffled by our movement to gather our clothes. We dress quickly.

“Who’s there?” Stephanie’s curt voice calls from near the edge of the house. The glow of the fire barely reaches her. Her blonde hair is pulled into a seamless bun, and she wears a stylish blouse with tapered pants.

“It’s me,” I say firmly, letting my sure voice carry through the backyard.

“Maci?” She doesn’t wait for a response before venturing closer to us. “What on earth—” Her words cease when she realizes I’m not alone. She pauses halfway between the house and the firepit. I adjust my shirt, as Sutton buttons his pants.

My fingers tangle in my hair, running a hand through what I imagine is a very clearly just-been-fucked look. She looks between us and her face hardens. There isn’t a single thing she could say to me right now to ruin what just happened. “This is Sutton, my boyfriend.”

“Ma’am,” Sutton says as he waves politely enough, but his posture is stiff. He grabs the blanket and folds it loosely to avoid eye contact with my mother.

“I can’t imagine why you think acting like a couple of hormonal teenagers is appropriate.” She pins me with a disgusted look.

A breathy laugh forces itself out of me. “Sex isn’t reserved for beds. And I’m willing to bet at one point you agreed.”

“Maci Grace.” She hisses my name. If she thinks she can embarrass me, she’s forgotten who I am.

Sutton’s hand is warm when I tuck mine into his. I give him a gentle pull and we meet my mother where she stands. “I didn’t realize you were still in town. We’ll get out of your way.”

“I left a few things.” Her lips are tight.

Sutton, now leading me, slows his steps. I turn over my shoulder. “We need to talk about the information Mr. Campbell needs. In the light of day. Have a good night.”

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