Page 63 of When the Smoke Clears

I shake my head. “No. I didn’t tell her.”

“Why?” His question is less curious, more pointed.

A heavy sigh leaves me. “I choose my battles. Some things are easier not to discuss if I don’t really have a need. My grandmother stipulated in the will that my aunt have full control of the house and everything in it while Stephanie is married to Alan. Things were pretty tense between us after the lunch you saw, and the conversation with my aunt Randi to discuss my plan happened shortly after. Even if I had wanted to tell her, everything went sideways after that.”

“You didn’t plan to tell her.”

“It’s not worth the headache of her knowing beforehand.”

His full lips purse, and he strokes his trimmed beard. “Because she’d try to keep it from you if she could?”

I lever my head side-to-side. “Not so much that she’ll try to keep it from me, but she can be overcautious and put her foot down when she thinks she’s in the right. She doesn’t actually have any power over it at this point, but that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be annoying about it given the opportunity.”

“Do you think she’ll move on quickly if she doesn’t know your plans?” I’m surprised that he’s so concerned about this, but I enjoy listening to him talk. “Say she’ll decide to settle here instead.”

I shake my head vigorously. “No. She’s said our lives aren’t here. I can’t imagine her staying.”

He studies me for a moment, pinning me with another pointed look. “What if she decides it’s time to smooth things over with her daughter? You did have a rough go of it lately, even if you handled it on your own. She’s still your mam.”

My stomach tightens. “I’m not holding my breath.”

“Do you want her to stay?”

“Every daughter wants to have a strong relationship with their mother. Right? I’ll always wonder why things couldn’t be better between us, but here we are. And if her being here adds to my continual stress, then no, I don’t want her to stay. In fact, I was fully prepared to go no-contact with her prior to Nana’s passing.”

He bobs his head slowly several times without responding, mulling over my words. “How’s the rancher?”

I smile. “He’s good. He’s been very attentive.”

“You like the ranch?”

“I’m getting to know it. But yes, in theory.”

“Good.” His eyes remain soft as he lets the quiet linger after his statement.

I take a deep breath. “Actually, there is one thing I want to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” His face remains passive.

“Colt. Well, his funeral.” I hesitate, unsure of how he’s going to react.

James stares at me without speaking. I don’t know what to make of his tight expression. His emotions are always so composed. Unlike my mother, who does it to present something perfect, I get the impression he wants to appear open, receptive, even if what he’s thinking is not so much. I’m still learning his tells. Though if he didn’t like something, I think I’d know.

“I spoke with his mother. She hinted that he may have had a mental disorder. Nothing was ever diagnosed, but she described him as frequently paranoid and increasingly aggressive.”

After a moment he says, “He’d not been with the club long, so I didn’t have a chance to observe if that’s accurate.”

“I didn’t know him long either.” My eyes fall to the floor. “Anyway, I’m going to be attending his service.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?”

I smile. “He’s already dead. He can’t hurt me now.”

He smirks. “Not what I meant. I mean his Da. Won’t he be there?”

“Yes. I suppose he will.” A challenging smile graces my lips. “Alan’s felt the end of my blade. I’m not worried about him.”

James tilts his head gently in disagreement. “I wouldn’t be so quick to judge. You took him on as a teenager. One who hadn’t killed his only kin. He likely won’t react that way he used to.”

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