Page 41 of When the Smoke Clears

“Sure, give her a treat,” I mutter.

Kelly ignores me, because we both know it’s the easiest way to get her down.

“This damn cow is going to market. Like, yesterday.” I stalk into the stables to re-shelve the torch and helmet.

“Don’t think Mrs. Strickland would be too happy about that,” Jason calls behind me, not doing much to hide his snicker.

“Well, she can come get her down from the damn loft then!” My annoyed shout carries out the open doors.

Chapter 13

Maci

AsidefromtheafternoonI spent at the police department, I’ve been laying low at Strickland Ranch. Spending time on the ranch is beautiful. It’s peaceful, and everyone has been welcoming. Loving, even. But even though it has plenty of fresh air, I’m starting to feel shut in.

Despite the numerous check-ins from most of the women in my life, there’s still so much I haven’t told them all, and doing so is the perfect excuse to get off the ranch for a bit.

I don’t exactly have a desire to discuss my personal business in public, especially in this little town. However, Nana’s isn’t an option since I still can’t bring myself to go over there, and I’m not ready to have everyone out to the ranch. So, I come up with Plan B.

Once everyone responds to my mass text, I set up pedicures for all of us in town on Saturday.

Since Sutton is working, I let Andi know I’ll be back later. I’ve decided to try step one of my exposure therapy, so I’m leaving a bit early. Not that anyone needs to know.

So far, the thought of revisiting Nana’s and what happened there causes anxiety to barrel through me. My stomach turns, my muscles tighten, and breathing becomes difficult. It’s not that I’m afraid that anything is going to happen again. But I’ve made a point not to revisit the images, and coming face to face with the house will put me front and center of that show.

Maybe if I can just sit outside. On the street even.

But I can’t.

I make it as far as the turn off from the county road before the pressure on my chest is too painful, and I pull off the road onto the shoulder. Phantom sirens wail loudly in my head.

Sutton may not have realized how alert I was that night. I’m not going to share the gory details with him, but I remember every second of lying in Nana’s yard with Colt’s knife protruding from my body—willing myself into a fixed state so I wouldn’t completely freak out, even though that’s what I wanted to do.

Inside I was screaming, thrashing, kicking. I wanted that fucker’s last action done, and nothing left of him attached to me.

The residual feelings of fear are just as prevalent. That I wouldn’t make it. That I’d have permanent damage, even if I did. The siren wails should’ve been a welcome sound, but they caused my heart rate to skyrocket. Not having answers is sometimes easier, because you don’t know the worst of things. Sirens meant medical personnel, and a chance that someone was going to give me bad news.

After taking a few minutes on the shoulder, I right my breathing and settle my nervous system. I stare up the road to where I know the house is. I can’t go there today, and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to.

This is harder than I anticipated.

I swing the Jeep around and head to the nail salon.

The place isn’t very big, and it sounds like we’ll be mostly alone with the five of us in there at once. I’m a little surprised they had enough openings last minute. The few times Leah, Izzy, and I have gotten pedicures together, we’ve gone into the city where the salons are bigger and there are more options.

Liv and Randi stand waiting out front by the time I arrive.

“How are you, sweet girl?” Randi asks, smiling, as I climb out of the Jeep.

It doesn’t matter that I’m in my mid-twenties; Randi is still just as doting as ever.

“I’m doing better.” It’s the most truthful I can be.

Just as I’m about to continue, Izzy and Leah pull in. After greetings and hugs, we make our way inside and get seated. The smell of acrylic and nail polish invades my nose, but it’s quieter than most salons.

“I’m sure you have a lot to tell us.” Liv doesn’t waste any time coaxing me into talking.

“I do.” Somehow, I’ve been seated between my two friends on one side and my family on the other. “A lot has happened, and I’m sure you’ll have a ton of questions, so…”

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