Page 29 of When the Smoke Clears

“Yes. I think you need to leave Alan. He may retaliate.”

Has he heard? Would he come home without telling me? If he could hide that his son attacked me, anything seems plausible. “I’ll think about it.” What would I even do if I left? I gave up my tiny career to be a useless trophy wife for him. “Are you ok?”

“Yes. I was seen by a doctor and I’m recovering fine.”

Our conversation ends with a promise to follow up. I get the impression Maci’s not told me everything yet. I can’t tell if it’s her usual guarded nature with me, or something else.

After we hang up, I contemplate everything she’s told me. Once again, I’m faced with leaving my husband out of a necessity for safety.

Was it all for nothing? It feels like it. Can you feel betrayal from a man you never loved?

So many moments from the last ten years spiral through my brain. Indicators that something was really off. My panic gives way to anger. Rage. That I’ve allowed so much to transpire while I sat passively by, just seeking Mother’s approval, just hoping to bury my head in the sand.

I had a husband who cherished me, who was a wonderful father. A husband I left at the first sign of trouble, without even a thorough conversation.

Chapter 10

Maci

Suttonkissesmeonthe forehead when he slips out of bed before dawn. I doze on and off for a while before deciding to get back into the swing of things. Unlike the night at the hospital when the anesthesia suppressed my dreams, nightmares continue to plague me now and my sleep is broken at best.

Moving around is minimally easier today, and I speed up my shower process by skipping a hair wash. After applying a fresh bandage, I get dressed in leggings and a thin, oversized sweater, then pull out my computer. My heart swells. Between the clothing and photography items I left here, and Izzy picking up my computer and a few more items from Nana’s, I have all the most important things.

After shoving my feet into my slippers, I grab my computer and coffee mug and head out the exterior door. Maybe Andi will be up for some company.

As the front door closes behind me, I call out, “Knock knock,” then roll my eyes at myself. One hospital stint and I’ve turned into a forty-year-old.

“Oh, Maci! In here,” Andi calls before her head peeks out of the kitchen.

The trek up the hall doesn’t feel as long as yesterday.

“Good morning, sweetheart. How are you feeling?” She kisses me on the cheek with more sound than lips. “You look good.”

My skin warms in a blush. “Thank you. I feel better today. Still sore.”

“Oh, yeah. I bet.” She points to the half-full coffee pot as she turns back to a bowl on the counter. “Coffee’s still hot.”

“Perfect. That’s just what I came in for. And to see you, of course.” When I open the fridge door, I see a bottle of caramel creamer sitting in the door shelf.Do not cry. Do not cry.

Andi smiles brightly over her shoulder. “Oh! Sutton mentioned you prefer caramel, so I picked some up while I was out yesterday.”

“I—” There are no words. Heavy tears fill my eyes. “Thank you.”

“Of course. You let me know if there’s anything else you need.”

I hum a response and set my computer in the dining room. With a full cup, I lean against the far counter, watching her work. “What are you working on?”

She dumps the contents from the bowl onto the butcher block counter. It’s a dough of some sort. “It’s an easy bread. I have a soup in the crock pot, and I thought fresh bread would go nicely.”

It always feels like home in here. I’m reminded of cold days spent in a warm kitchen with Nana. “That sounds delicious. Is there anything I can help with?” Her glance my way is quick, and I anticipate she’ll tell me no as usual. “And please, don’t tell me no. I’m starting to go a little stir-crazy.” I grin.

Her eyes squint, but she smiles on the backside. “I’m sure I can come up with something.”

Sutton is so much like her. A man of few words like his father, sure, but his hidden heart of gold is all from this amazing woman. She’s become so special to me in such a short time.

We work quietly, me following her instructions to the letter, until there’s a lull. “I loved spending time in the kitchen with my Nana.”

“I bet.” Andi beams. “She was so special. You know our family holds her in our hearts.”

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