Page 47 of Falling for Her

My dad said I should just rip the band-aid off, and he’ll surprise me, but I’m scared.

What if I have the same complications as mom?

What if I die and leave my child motherless, or worse, Damian finds someone else?

Blinking, I decide to divert to give me some time. I ask, “Want to tell me why you left your club?” and he sighs, seeing right through me. The best thing about him is that he allows it.

He admits, “The club was my whole life,” I look at him, locking eyes. Pain shines through him, and I hate it. Instantly, I want to take it away, but I know I can’t.

You can’t take away the past, only learn from it.

He continues, “I was going to become Ace’s vice president when I turn twenty-five.” My eyes widen in shock, and he smiles, “Ace is known as Bullet, while I was known as Jokester.”

I smile and state, “Because you love to joke around.”

He hums as he runs his fingers through my hair and murmurs, “Which only seems to come out now that you are in my life.” My heart melts and hurts at the same time at his words, and he sighs, “All I wanted was to make my father proud, but when I was sixteen for the first time, I was ready to say no to him and Butcher when they told me I had to date Bethany.”

My eyes widen, and I ask, “Ace’s sister, or well, Bullet’s?”

He nods and replies, “Yeah, growing up, she had a thing for me, something I never entertained or encouraged, but she wouldn’t stop. She started causing shit to get attention and ended up blackmailing her father to force his hand,” he swallows, “I never touched her romantically, never kissed her, and didn’t allow her on the back of my bike, something only you have had the privilege of by the way.”

I smile at that and then ask, “So, why did you agree to date her then? Was it because of the blackmail or your loyalty to the club?”

He scoffs, “I went to turn them down and tell them to go to hell, but they used my place within the club as collateral if I declined, including the roof over my head.”

“What? You were sixteen!” I snap, and he shrugs and says, “They didn’t care. I only agreed thinking it would be a few months but two years went by and I was still stuck with her. Butcher even ordered an old lady cut for her from me and had the club convinced she was my one when she wasn’t. I threatened to tell the club everything if he didn’t back off.”

Holy…

“So why did you hang up your cut then? Is it because you couldn’t be with her anymore?” I ask, intrigued.

He smiles sadly as he runs his fingers up and down my bare thighs and admits, “She caused a lot of crap with Scar when we were eighteen, jealous at the attention she was getting, giving me a chance to end things, but the day we met, you know, the day you called me out on my shit,” I smile as he gives me a sly grin then continues, “Butcher threatened my cut again and place within the club if I didn’t give her the old lady patch. I took my cut off and told them to go to hell. The only reason why I work at the shop and why I live here is because Hammer is the majority owner. Come next month, I’m looking at starting at a new shop three towns over. I just have to find somewhere else to live.”

I sigh and shake my head as I mumble, “What idiots,” making him chuckle as he grips my hair, and we lock eyes.

“I love you, Essy,” he says fiercely, and I suck in a breath at his sincerity. He admits, “I meant it that day in the bakery, and I mean it now. I never should have accused you of being someone you are not. I allowed my insecurities because of the club to cloud my judgment when I saw my mama at the bakery. I am so, so fucking sorry,” he places a peck on my nose as my tears swell, and he whispers, “You are my everything, my whole fucking world, and I can’t live without you. These past two weeks have been hell not hearing from you, and I don’t want to go through that again.”

I sniffle as a few tears fall, and he wipes them away. Instead of declaring my love back, I blurt, “I’m six weeks pregnant…” And his thumbs pause on my cheeks while I keep my eyes on the tattoos on his chest, the angel wings over his heart with my name in the middle of my focus.

When in the hell did he do that?

“Look at me, angel,” he demands softly. Slowly, I lift my head until our eyes lock. “You’re pregnant?” he confirms, and I nod once and admit, “I found out that morning before I kicked you out.”

He nods, his eyes racing between mine, and mumbles, "Well, that explains kicking me out and two weeks of silent treatment."

I narrow my eyes at his accusation of my hormones being the cause of me icing him out even though he is right, I was overly emotional, not that I’d admit that to him but he ignores my look and asks, “And how do you feel about it? I know this isn’t planned, and I know we’ve been using protection, so this must be a shock.”

More tears fall, and I babble, “How are you so calm right now? I’ve had two weeks to try and digest it, and I’m still freaking out, yet you’re calm.”

He smiles as he cups my cheek, wiping away the tears, and admits, “I’m calm because I know I love you, and I know whatever you choose, I’ll be standing beside you every step of the way, and I won’t judge what route you decide.”

“I-I think I just need time to think,” I confess, “I don’t know if I can have this baby. I’m scared what happened to Mom will happen to me, and I just –”

My words trail off as he lifts my chin and says, “I love you, Esmerelda Jacobs, and we’ll get through this together. You hear me?”

“Are you sure?" I whisper, and he smiles and replies, "Together, we can get through anything," and my heart skips a beat.

Damn.

---