Page 43 of Broken Country

“Louisa.”

“Leo and I are going to London first thing, so I won’t have a chance to see you again. I wondered—you might think this odd—would you meet me in the pub for a quick drink?”

“You don’t have to drop everything the minute that family calls,” Frank says, when I put the phone down. “You don’t do it for anyone else.”

It hasn’t gone unnoticed I’ve been returning from Meadowlands later and later this summer, and sometimes there’s the tang of alcohol on my breath. My marriage is in a downward slide and I know, only too well, what needs to bedone to halt it. The trouble is, I’m not sure I want to. I’ve felt happier—if you can call it that—in these past weeks with Leo and Gabriel than I have in years. It’s selfish of me to carry on like this when I know how much I am hurting Frank. But I don’t seem to be able to stop.

When I arrive at the pub, Louisa is already there, sitting at a small corner table with two gin and tonics in front of her.

“Gin all right?” she says, sliding a glass toward me. Her smile is warm, open. She wants us to be friends.

There was a time when I used to pore over press photos of Louisa and Gabriel. If she was unsmiling in the picture, I’d decide she was cold, haughty. If they looked particularly happy and in love, I would remind myself she had stolen him from me. She was a ruthless American and Gabriel hadn’t stood a chance, was the story I told myself.

“Leo was over the moon to see you,” I say now. “He hasn’t looked like that in all the months I’ve known him. So radiant. It was wonderful to see.”

“He has changed so much. I can hardly believe it. My little boy has gone.”

“It must be hard not being with him.”

“You have no idea.” Louisa places a manicured hand over her heart. Pale pink nails with white tips. Gold bangles jangling on her wrist. She looks so well put together in her spotless white coatdress. Just like her mother. And Tessa Wolfe. Women of a different caliber to anyone I know. It’s not just money that sets her apart—Louisa has real style, I think.

“To be honest, Beth, I’m finding it really difficult living away from him. I’m constantly on the brink of saying, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ I wish he’d come and live in the States with me.”

“Deep down, he probably wants to.”

“I’m not so sure. He and Gabe are very close. Leo chose to stay here with him.”

“And Gabriel would be devastated.”

Iwould be devastated. My little surrogate family ripped apart.

“Which is why I’m trying to see if we can make this work. The problem is Gabe never tells me how Leo is really doing. I guess he doesn’t want to worry me. But I sense things aren’t great. Will you be honest with me? Is he all right?”

I hesitate for a moment, torn between wanting to do what is best for Leo and feeling whatever I say might inadvertently hurt Gabriel. I don’t know Louisa well enough for a cards-on-the-table conversation.

“Please, Beth. I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t worried about him.”

I nod to show her I understand.

“He does seem very close to his father like you say. Leo is happy when he’s at Meadowlands. But he finds school hard, he doesn’t seem to have many friends there. He struggles to control his anger, there’s been trouble over that. The main thing is, he really misses you.”

“What would you do? Would you insist on him coming back to America with you? As a mother—”

Louisa breaks off. Panic flits across her pretty face. “Forgive me. I spoke without thinking.”

“It’s fine,” I say, too crisply. I know my voice hardens when there’s a reference to Bobby—it’s how I steel myself. “But I can’t answer that. I’ve never been in your situation. If you can find a way to visit more, I’m sure Leo will be fine. Sooner or later, he will begin to settle here.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I do. It’s early days, he has only been living here for afew months. By this time next year, I bet he’ll be back to his old self.”

“You’re a nice person, Beth. I’m glad Leo has you in his life.”

It’s strange how with certain women you can be enemies one minute and intimates the next. By the time we have bought our second drink, I feel Louisa and I could talk about anything.

“What went wrong with you and Gabriel?” I say, looking up at Louisa. “Do you mind me asking? You always looked so happy and in love when I saw your photo in the papers.”

“Did we? Just goes to show how deceptive appearances can be. Oh, I loved him, absolutely I did. And Gabe tried to love me back. But we were kidding ourselves.”

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