Page 12 of Burning Love

The following day was no different. Every time Alex passed Sophia on the compound, it was like the entire world narrowed, the space between them nothing at all. They said very little to each other, for there wasn’t much to say, but there were moments, brief moments, where Alex couldn’t stop herself from noticing the way Sophia’s eyes lingered on her.

Later in the afternoon, as dusk approached, she saw Sophia again. This time, she was standing near the compound’s eastern fence, looking out toward the horizon, her back to the hangars and various outbuildings. The air was growing cooler by the second, so Alex wrapped her arms across her chest as she approached. She thought Sophia might hear her and turn around, but she didn’t.

She could see Sophia’s soft neckline, the way her neck muscles shifted beneath her shirt and the slight rise and fall of her shoulders as she breathed. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, a few strands escaping and curling around her ears.

When Alex stopped behind her, the sound of her own breathing suddenly felt too loud. Even from this distance, she could feel Sophia’s heat, the faint scent of the soap she had given her, mixed with the scent of hot bread. It was intoxicating.

Alex opened her mouth to say something, but as her lips parted, no sound escaped her lips. What could she say? That she couldn’t stop thinking about her? Every time they were near each other, her mind raced with improper thoughts, and her body ached with longing.

She’d think you were insane.

Sophia turned at that point, her face totally unreadable. “Hey! You’re a sneaky one. I didn’t hear you coming,” she said, a smile playing on her lips.

“Sorry,” Alex muttered, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck. She glanced down at the ground, unsure of what to do with herself.

Sophia’s eyes softened. She stepped closer, and Alex caught the faintest touch of her fingertips brushing against her arm. It was light, barely there, but it was enough to send a shock through Alex’s whole body.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” Sophia mumbled as she looked down at her feet. “You don’t have to keep your distance, you know? Not from me.”

Alex swallowed hard, her pulse racing. She was losing control; she could feel it. The rules of life as someone in command here on the compound were slipping away with every second she stood near Sophia.

Sophia reached out, her hand brushing lightly against Alex’s fingers.

“I just don’t want you to feel like you have to look after me, of course,” Sophia added, her voice barely above a whisper. “You don’t have to take on that responsibility, Alex. But don’t feel like you have to stay away either. I… kinda like it when you’re close…”

And that was it. At that moment, Alex couldn’t hold back any longer. She gasped under her breath as she closed the distance between them, her hands trembling as she reached for Sophia’s face. “What about this?” she asked, tracing the soft line of Sophia’s jaw. “Is this too close?”

“Not at all.”

The tension hung in the air like a thread between them, thick and fragile. Alex had to break it. She had to leave before she said or did something she couldn’t take back.

What the fuck are you playing at, Alex?

She took one last look at Sophia, her chest tight with unsaid words, and forced herself to turn away.

Sophia didn’t stop her.

Alex trudged across the compound, her feet feeling cramped in her boots and her arms swinging below her slumped shoulders. The weight of what almost happened felt suffocating.

Did I just try to kiss her? I did, didn’t I?

Every step felt like walking into battle. By the time she reached one of the old supply closets tucked into the corner of Hangar C, her hands were trembling.

She pushed open the door, stepping into the dim, musty room. The faint smell of oil and metal filled her nose as she turned the lock behind her with a quiet click. Finally alone. Her knees buckled, and she sank to the floor, her back pressed against the wall. She drew her legs up to her chest, resting her forehead against them as her shoulders began to shake.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Her mind replayed the scene with Sophia on a relentless loop. It was all too much. Alex clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms. She’d felt so out of control, so exposed. Years of discipline, of training, of burying everything under layers of military toughness and stoicism, and Sophia had nearly unraveled it all. She’d almost fucked it all up.

A desperate sob ripped its way out of her chest. There was nothing she could do to stop it. She moved a hand over her mouth to try to block the noise, but what was happening in her mind was too strong to keep under control. Stashed-away memories came popping up at an unbidden and merciless rhythm.

She was thirteen again, sitting in the back row of her middle school classroom. She couldn’t remember where it was. Her father had been stationed in many places. Maybe up in Alaska somewhere. She couldn’t remember. And had no one to ask. The whispers had started a few weeks earlier, small and insidious. At first, she’d paid them zero attention. She’d always been different. So what? She was built differently from the other girls. She was taller, stockier. She was stronger. She couldn’t care less about the things they cared about—makeup, boys,the next dance. She’d instead go fishing, play ball games, or go out with her dad on his motorcycle on one of his rare days off.

But then the whispers grew louder.

“Did you see her this morning when she got off the bus? Why does she dress like that?”

“She’s probably a lezbo. I kinda feel sorry for her. She’s probably secretly in love with Kaylee. Do you think?”

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