A woman stands up, wearing a shirt that readsAll I Want for Christmas is Ethan Barrettwith my face plastered on it(gotta get me one of those). “I want to know about your real-life romance, Ethan,” the fan gushes. “Who will you be kissing under the mistletoe this year?”
“Hold up… Is that really what you’re curious about?” I say, playing coy. “Who I’m dating?”
I saw this one coming a mile away. It's always the same question. My dating life is a never-ending parade of starlets, and the gossip sites can’t get enough.
The audience bursts into applause and loud catcalls.
Madison shouts over the rowdy crowd. “Stand up ladies, and cheer! Let’s convince Ethan to stop dishing on his movie and instead dish on his love life!”
I can feel Chase’s rage burrowing into the side of my head.Sorry, princess, but they love me, not your precious writing.Chase has her Resting Grinch Face on, but then, strangely, her face changes, as if she’s solved an impossible equation.
Madison motions for them to sit back down, then leans in. “Okay, Ethan. Spill the tea. Who’s the lucky lady warming your bed this holiday season?”
I open my mouth, ready to serve up my usual charm-and-dodge routine, but—
“It’s me,” Chase blurts out. “Ethan and I are a couple!”
Wait, what?
My stomach drops.
Freefall.
“We’ve kept it hush-hush so far,” Chase says, her voice filled with fake sweetness, “but eager Ethan here has been bursting to announce our love to the world. Right, honeybunch?”
I nod. Mechanical. Smile frozen. Inside? Screaming.
Madison’s eyes go wide. “Hold the phone! You two? But I thought… I mean, aren’t you guys notoriously at each other’s throats?”
“You know how romance goes… Opposites attract!” Chase chirps. “But seriously, our movie,Fa La La Love,mirrored our love story in the most insane way.” She turns to me, her smile sharp. “Ethan, tell them about the karaoke scene.”
“I, uh…”Words. Where are my words?
“Don’t be shy!” Chase pinches my cheek.
Is this what they call an out-of-body experience? Because I’m pretty sure I’m watching my career implode in real time.
“Let me tell it,” Chase says, her eyes twinkling. “So, during filming, Ethan was trying to drop hints about his feelings, but I was totally oblivious. I mean, Ethan’s always so charming, it’s hard to read the signs!” She winks at the audience. “There’s this adorable karaoke scene inFa La La Love—and let me tell you, Ethan’s voice is to die for—and when I called ‘cut,’ he started serenading me with ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You.’”
The audience lets out a collective “Aww,” and I wonder if it’s too late to make a run for it.
“Don’t even get me started on the snowman scene,” Chase continues, clearly on a roll. “Let’s just say Ethan needed some serious help with his snowman-building skills.”
I try to regain some control. “I didn’t need her help, but she’s always there, offering it regardless.”
Chase turns to the audience. “Ladies, he’s as romantic as you think. Ethan planned this whole moment on set during the snowman scene. He waited until I called ‘cut,’ then wrapped his arms around me and whispered, ‘You know best. That’s why I always listen to you… and also I love you.’”
“That’s not exactly how I said it,” I interject.
“Oh, you totally did! You even set up this whole romantic scene with the props department, making fake snow fall on us. And then, with tears in your eyes, you kissed me right there and asked me to be your girlfriend.”
“Well, it wasn’t exactly tears,” I say. “A fake snowflake got in my eye. Those things are made of soap, so my eyes were stinging like hell.”
“That is so beautiful,” Madison gushes.
“Isn’t it?” Chase says, her expression turning serious. “We were two people caught off guard by love. It wasn’t in the script,but life writes its own story. Love swoops in and turns your world upside down.”
I nod, utterly defeated.What else can I do?