Page 42 of Fake It 'Til You Sleigh It

2. Her heart is colder than a penguin’s nutsack.

3. She micromanages everyone on set, especially me, like it’s her God-given mission—

“Do I have something in my teeth?” Chase whispers, snapping me out of my thoughts. Dammit, she’s even cuter when she’s nervous. My stomach does a backflip.

Penis 1. Brain 0. Quit calling the shots, Little Ethan!

“Your teeth are fine. Your personality, however… that needs work.”

“Okay, thanks, I’ll get right on that. Right after you stop being a cocky dickhole. Deal?”

“Ah, so you’re finally doing nicknames now? Okay, snuggle tits.”

Penis 1. Brain 1. Ha!

We’re not-so-patiently waiting as a busy news crew works frantically to make last-second adjustments. I try not to fidget. Try not to think about how easy it would be to reach out and take her hand.

And hold her.

And kiss her.

Dammit, Little Ethan!

“Ready when you are,” the cameraman says, giving the reporter a thumbs-up.

The reporter—all bouncy black curls and luminescent smile—does a final fluff of her hair. She’s pretty in that “I eat kale for breakfast” kinda way, but my eyes are glued to Chase—despite her forced scowl and even if she is pulling away from me like I’m wetland ooze.

“I’m Ashley Barnes, standing in front of the Swamp Life Haven here in the Everglades. With me is hunky holiday movie star, Ethan Barrett, and his co-star girlfriend, Chase Pemberton.”

“I am not an actor,” she says. “I’m the director and also the screenwriter.”

“That’s my girlfriend. She’s got a mile-long list of quirks, but she’s all mine.” I say, glossing over Chase’s rudeness. “Ashley, appreciate you coming out.”

The reporter’s eyes light up. “You two are adorable! Everyone’s buzzing about Chathan! Tell me, what’s it like working together and filming those romantic scenes? Do you ever get jealous?”

Chase’s laugh sounds like a rusty hinge. “Jealous? Of what? Ethan’s ability to forget his lines five seconds after I call action?”

“Oh, sweetheart, maybe I forget my lines because you’re rewriting them every five seconds. For someone who loves her precious words so much, you sure love changing them—”

Ashley’s smile falters. “Next question! You’re currently filming your fifth movie together, right? You two really know how to create movie magic.”

“We’re a great team,” I agree with sarcasm. “I act. Chase yells ‘cut’ every thirty seconds. Then somehow, thirty miserable days later, we end up with a movie.”

Chase fires back, “What Ethan is trying to say is that we have a very… collaborative process. I collaborate, he processes. Eventually.”

Ashley, a true professional, barrels into her next talking point. “Ethan, your family must be thrilled to have you home for the holidays with your girlfriend.”

“Oh yeah, they’re over the moon to see me—I mean, us. Both of us.”

“It’s been great,” Chase says, her tone suggesting it’s been anything but. “Ethan is great. His family is great. They’re just so… present. Like, they’re always around, everywhere we go. All the time.”

I throw an arm around her shoulders, feeling her stiffen. “Chase is a shy one. She’s not used to so much Barrett family love. Are you, snookums?”

“Definitely not, sugar bear. But every day is a gift, and I’m counting them down until I get to open the big one. Then… Christmas will finally be over.”

Chase flashes a smile so strained, it takes me a second to remember the cameras are rolling. I let out a forced laugh and she casually shrugs off my arm.

“Honestly, she’s got this relentless, exhaustive energy that keeps me on my game, no matter where we are. I can’t get enough of it.”

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