Page 76 of How to Get Even

We’re so happy for you.

Thrilled for you and the future you’ll have together.

Congratulations Mr & Mrs Prendergast.

Her breath shuddered in her lungs.

‘Bella—’

‘I have to go, but I’ll talk to you soon, okay?’ she said and hung up before Paige could reply.

She stared at nothing as the cars passed, their lights glowing in the early dark of a winter’s night, unhearing of the noises of the people that stalked up and down the sidewalk around her.

I’m happy for you both.

Are you? Really?she asked herself.

She wanted to be. She wanted to be the bigger person, to rise above her own feelings and wish them well. But she couldn’t. Because she was…angry. Her whole being vibrated with emotions that she didn’t know what to do with.

It wasn’t because Olly had moved on, because Bella had always known he would one day. But it was Paige. It wasPaigethat she felt she’d lost. Not Olly.

Somewhere over the course of the last weeks and months, she’d stopped thinking about Olly so much. She’d stopped thinking about what she’d lost when he’d walked away from her.

But this… this was different.

This hurt in a new way.

Because it felt a little as if Paige had chosen Olly over her. Because it felt a little as if it didn’tmatterhow good she was, or how hard she worked to make everything fine, to achieve her goals, to fix everything. To make sure that she didn’t disturb what other people got to have. And if that didn’t matter… then what was she doing,all the time, being so damngood?

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she ignored it. It would be the girls, they’d be worried about her.

The last thing they need is to worry about you.

She didn’t want them to be worried.

But a small, mean, part of herdid. Just for once, she wanted to be the one that people cared about. Just for once she wanted not to have to make herself invisible in order for them to feel better.

Her eyes hurt and she blinked, the cold feeling from the back of her eyelids making her aware that she was cold. Really cold. She got up, stiffly, not bothering to check her watch to see how long she’d been sitting there.

She didn’t even think as she walked into the liquor store and grabbed the nearest bottle of wine. She paid for it without noticing the curious glance she got from the guy behind the counter. As she passed Isiah she barely waved hello, not noticing the frown of concern he gave her as he watched her walk to the elevator.

She walked blindly down the corridor and let herself into her apartment.

I’m so sorry.

Me too, Bella thought, wondering why the sting of hurt seemed so much worse than when she’d realised Olly had left her at the wedding.

She would never begrudge Paige her happiness. She damn well deserved it. And Bella meant that, truly and completely. But that didn’t mean that she didn’t hurt and wonder when it was thatshewould get to be happy.

She grabbed a glass from the cupboard, not even caring that it was a tumbler and filled it near full with wine.

Stop it right now. No more tears. You don’t get to feel sorry for yourself when your sister is in a hospital bed and your parents are worried out of their minds.

She swallowed down half the glass and ignored the way that it hit her empty stomach and sloshed. She shrugged off her coat, only just realising that she still had it on, and let it fall to the floor. She stood in the kitchen and downed the rest of the glass of wine.

For just one night she didn’t want to be Good Bella.

She kicked off her shoes as she refilled her glass and walked to the window, looking out into the night to see if she could see the hospital where her sister had been treated. It was on the other side of the park, and too far up, but if she squinted, really hard, she could imagine that she could see the lights.

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