Page 432 of The Sinner: James

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a reason you have to go through all this. A stupid one, nonetheless, but there must be one. I’m sure it will all make sense someday.”

“I don’t care.”

“I know you don’t. I’d feel the same if I were you, but all I’m saying here is that you shouldn’t give up.”

“This is not about me giving up. It’s what it is. I have co-workers who are luckier than me.”

She’s sarcastic about it.

Evidently.

“They found someone, and their love life is as boring as a doorknob,” she continues.

I open my mouth to speak, but she is faster than me.

“I know what you want to say. It’s only a group of people. And you might be right, but it’s still significant if you think about it. Other than you and perhaps Dahlia, I don’t know anyone whose love life is good.”

“I’m not a good example.”

“Yes, you are. I know you miss him when he’s away, but even that is a good sign. It tells me how much you love him. And how much he loves you. You’re not even freshly married. You’ve been together for seven years.”

I stay mum.

“And that’s not all,” she goes on. “You knew from the start that you two were made for each other. And he knew it too. And yeah, fate had played a role, and it was a rocky road, but you made it in the end. And you know why? Because it was real. I, on the other hand... All I’ve got were men attracted to my looks. Or intimidated by my looks. Men who wanted sex without offering commitment. Or men who needed emotional support. See where I’m going with this? Men who wanted a momentary fix before getting the person they really wanted to spend their lives with. Or men who found me too complicated. Too this or too that while offering me nothing. They had no excitement, curiosity, or the slightest sense of adventure. They couldn’t romance me if their life depended on it. They just couldn’t make themselves do it or didn’t think it was worthwhile. Or who the hell knows.”

“A lot of them don’t know how to do it.”

“What do they know then?”

I wish I knew, but I don’t, so I stay silent while she vents her frustration.

“They want so little from a woman. They feel no need to connect with her or have her in their lives. And the strange thing is, I don’t even think about sharing my life with them forever. I don’t even care if I get that from them or not. All I want is a man who can make me feel alive when I’m with him. That’s all.”

Tipping her gaze down, she goes quiet.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset you.”

“I’m not upset,” she says, although her jaw is locked, and her eyes sparkle with emotions.

My phone buzzes again.

I pick it up and read the message.

“James is here,” I say, my eyes flying to the street.

“Oh, shit. I don’t want him to see me like this. All fucked up,” she says, running her hand through her hair and smoothing her skirt. “How do I look?”

I glance at her, smiling.

“Relax. You’re good.”

She flashes a grin just as a Bentley rolls next to the sidewalk and comes to a full stop.

The driver walks out but doesn’t get the chance to open the back door as James already climbs out.

The other back door opens, and a second man pulls out.

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