Page 275 of The Sinner: James

“You want her? You can have her,” I say coldly.

He looks away, a muscle pulsing in his jaw.

Boiling with anger, he’s seconds away from charging at me.

Surprisingly, he stifles his reaction and reins in his fury, his lips curving into a bitter smile as he shifts his eyes back to me.

“You’re saying this because you know I can’t have her,” he says, scorching me with his stare.

Eyes locked on him, I bring my cigarette to my lips and inhale deeply, indulging in the sensation for a moment as the smoke flows freely into my lungs.

“You might have a chance with her,” I say, tearing my cigarette away from my lips. “She likes you a lot. Besides, she only gave me a little more than what you’ve got, so don’t feel bad about it. In the end, you wouldn’t know the difference.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you,” he tosses at me after a moment of reflection.

I shift my gaze to the people frolicking in front of us.

“Yes, you would. You’d do way worse things to get her.”

His stare burns holes into my face.

“Why did you have to do it?” he asks, puzzled.

I don’t answer.

“You humiliated her, James. Was it because you wanted to prove she was as bad as we were?”

Smiling, I take another drag off my cigarette and let the smoke out.

“She is as bad as we are. Or should I say… Human? Imperfect? But see, she never wanted to believe it. She always thought life was this perfect thing, and only a few people were bad, and certainly not her. If only you and I could be more like her, things would be perfect, and unicorns would roam the earth. We would all live in paradise. She never thought she could be like everybody else. Even now, she can’t see it. She thinks that us sharing her is worse than her warming up to some jerk for a fee. That’s what’s gotten to her. Me paying her so we can have her. That’s what made her feel cheap. Nothing else did...” I say, breathing a bitter chuckle.

“So, what will happen now?”

“Nothing,” I say, putting the cigarette out.

I blow the smoke to the side.

“For her and me, it’s neither here nor there. We’re no better than each other. I’ve done shit I shouldn’t have, and she could’ve done things differently, yet she didn’t want to do it. At least I’m mature enough to acknowledge it, but she’s not. She’s still blindsided by whatever image she’s created in her head about me, the world, and whatever other crap...”

“I can talk to her.”

I cut my eyes at him.

“I don’t want you to talk to her on my behalf. Under no circumstances do I want you near her.”

He clenches his jaw, annoyed, blasting a scorching glare in my direction.

“What can you tell her to change her mind anyway?” I toss at him coldly.

He looks at me with guarded eyes, his face unreadable.

“Stay away from her, Lex. That’s all I’m saying,” I bark, pissed, before spinning around and walking out of the room.

* * *

RAIN

New York

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