Page 499 of The Sinner: James

“It’s no longer your money. I paid the Armenians what you owed so that you could get your freedom back. This way, you can have your old life back without looking over your shoulder, provided you are not fighting again. If you are, you’ll fall back into their clutches.”

His eyes glint with stern determination.

“There’s no point in going back if I can’t get my money. I’d rather stay here.”

“You can stay here, but six months from now, you’ll be in the exact same situation, and I won’t be here to bail you out.”

“You have lots of money. And I want my money too. I fought for them.”

I smile.

“But see, kid. That’s not how this world works. You had your money, made a mistake, and lost it. I’m giving you a pretty good deal here. Your handsome face stays untouched, and you can walk away from this mess. A clean slate, if you wish. Go to London, and hook up with Abby Newtown. Or go to Portugal, and do whatever the hell you want.”

He jolts in his seat, his lips pressed into a tight line, his brow furrowed, fury gleaming in his eyes.

“You’re not giving me anything, man,” he says, his face dark. “That’s not freedom. I don’t want that kind of life. I don’t want to go back to Lisbon and do what? Go back to school? Get a job? Work in my mother’s gallery? No fucking way. I’d never be able to survive,” he says, his voice hoarse with desperation. “And I don’t want to go to London to live with a woman. I’m not that type of man. I know what Abby wants. It’s what every decent woman wants, but I can’t give that to her. Not to her or any other woman. I don’t want to be tied down and live a life of drudgery.”

“And being a fugitive is better how?”

“It might not be better, but I have hope at least.”

“Hope to do what?”

“I don’t know. Hope that I could be free and not live like everybody else.”

I huff.

“You already live like everybody else. What am I saying? Your life is ten times worse than any other’s schmuck. You’re barely twenty-one and already have a bunch of Armenian and Russian gangsters on your back. If you keep doing this, you’ll be dead in a few years, if not months.”

“I don’t care what happens to me. I don’t want that kind of life,” he says with stubborn indignation.

I tense up in my seat.

“If you don’t want that kind of life, you’ll have to learn how to earn what you want. And by the way you've started it, I can tell you’re getting nowhere fast.”

“I could do something else, but I need my money first. That’s why I stashed it away. That was my initial plan, but I couldn’t do it fast enough with the little money that they left me after taking their cut. That’s why I risked everything. I was hoping I could move faster.”

“To move faster, you need to learn how to walk first,” I say through clenched teeth. “And right now, all you’re doing is starting fires you don’t know how to put out. Having money is not enough if you don’t know how to handle it. Money is a great servant but a horrible master. And right now, you work for it, lose your head because of it, and make stupid deals with stupid people who, like you, do stupid things for money because they’re serving the same Master. You have to learn how to handle money, make it work for you, serve you, protect you, and not get you killed. That’s what mastering money is. I could give you your money back, and weeks from now, you’d be without it and probably get someone hurt because of it. Maybe even yourself.”

“It wouldn’t happen,” he says. “I don’t want to go back to London as much as I don’t care about staying here. Or going back to Lisbon. If nothing else, I’ll join the French Foreign Legion.”

“Anything to get yourself killed.”

“Why do you care?”

I raise my hands before putting my cigarette out.

“I don’t give a damn. My mission here is done. I said I’d bring you home, and here you are. I’m taking you home. What you do with your life is none of my concern.”

With that, I shift my eyes away from him just as Thomas shows up in the doorway.

“We’re ready to take off,” I say in a different voice before he pulls away.

Tiago looks at me, puzzled.

The engines start running at a higher speed.

“What about my money?” he asks.

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