Page 470 of The Sinner: James

“I never knew his entire story for obvious reasons, of course, but he led me to believe something bad had happened when he was very young. I have no idea what it was. Whatever it was, it prompted the choices he had made early in life. One of those choices was his marriage. I figured that one out in retrospect. To him, his marriage was more of a business decision than anything else. Or perhaps it was vengeance, payback for something someone else had done to him. I don’t know. Whatever it was, it had an impact on the way he conducted his life. He was pragmatic and calculated. He planned every move, yet he couldn’t anticipate his marriage would become a burden after a while. Once he had that experience, he was no longer interested in trying it again.”

“How was he with you?”

I smile.

“Aside from the arrangement that we had, he was a perfect gentleman. I don’t know if he had offered that kind of experience to someone who was in his life through other means––not paid, I mean––but he felt safe to me. We didn’t discuss our feelings, although our mutual affection was there. We both knew that our liaison was short-lived, and that thing alone made us very careful about how we behaved with each other. He assumed I expected certain things from him, and he surely delivered. Using money, he had perfect control over me while I, on the other hand, never disappointed him, giving him the experience that he wanted.”

She listens to me breathlessly.

“But that was not reality,” I continue. “I mean, it was for us, but we consumed our relationship––which was partly business and partly pleasure––within a safe perimeter that he had drawn. We knew our roles, and we put in the effort to make it work. I don’t know how he would be with someone who’d drill deep into his heart, learn his secrets, and stir him up. He gave me his affection, and he was a fantastic lover, but the man never showed me his heart. So yeah... He’s going to be someone’s riddle to solve someday.”

“Hmm...”

“Do you really like him?” I ask.

“He’s handsome.”

“And filthy rich.”

“That too,” she says, smiling. “But, I find him intimidating.”

“You find all of them intimidating. You find James intimidating.”

“Because he is. They all are.”

“They are men.”

“They are men who know a lot, have a lot, and don’t need a lot.”

“As opposed to?”

She looks at me.

I tip my head to the side, slowly arching an eyebrow. She chuckles.

“You’re right. They are just like any other man I’ve had in my life,” she says, rolling her eyes.

She loops her arm through mine as we start walking.

“How do you deal with the fact that they can have any woman that they want?” she asks after a moment.

“You don’t think about it.”

With that, we put an end to our conversation and stroll across the lawn where Ed, Thea, Lex, Dahlia, and David wait for us.

5

JAMES

A quiet buzzrolls in my ear.

I crack an eye open, swing my arm and pick up my phone from the nightstand, my eyes shifting to the patio doors first.

Wide open, they let in the panoramic view of the calm sea. The sky is lighted where the water meets the line of the horizon.

I check the time before I answer the call.

It’s five o’clock in the morning.

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