Page 454 of The Sinner: James

I raise my hand.

“Let me finish.”

She sags in her seat.

I blow out the smoke and rest my elbows on the table.

“I wish you had the guts to own it, Theresa. Had you done that, I would’ve never considered you a coward. I don’t care how your life turned out to be. Although I never thought it would turn out bad. You knew better than that. But even if that were the case, I would’ve much appreciated it if you had the guts to talk to me. To fill in those blanks, tell me you were sorry, and explain what happened. This is not about me forgiving you. We are past that moment, and it doesn’t matter, to be honest. After all this time, the issue is moot––you leaving me altered my life, but I came to terms with it. That pain belongs to the past, but I wish you learned something from it.”

I bring my cigarette to my lips and take another drag, my gaze hovering over her face and hands.

“So... Did you marry that man?” I ask, spotting no ring on her finger.

She brings her gaze to me but remains silent.

“Are you married now?” I ask.

“Divorced.”

“From him or someone else?”

“Him.”

“Who was he?”

She takes a long breath before speaking again.

“I met him at one of your father’s parties. A business owner like your father, he was half American and half Portuguese with Italian ancestors. Diego Rossi. He was younger, ambitious, and very driven. He told me he wanted to be with me right from the beginning, and I liked that about him. Although I tried to fight the idea. He didn’t want to take no for an answer, so I caved and left your father. Things were good for a while, but our story didn’t last.”

“Why?”

“The first few years were fine. We moved to Lisbon, bought a house, and relocated the business. Soon after, he started to expand his company and return to the US, so I found myself alone again. It didn’t take long before I realized he was seeing someone else. I filed for divorce the same day.”

She pauses.

I wait for her to continue.

“It wasn’t as easy as I thought it’d be. He didn’t like that I wanted to break up with him, so he ended it with that woman and came back home, determined to work things out with me. We rekindled our relationship and made it work for a while, but it wasn’t meant to be. He soon started to travel for business and began spending his time gambling in the casinos and hiring prostitutes. That was the end of it for me. I filed for divorce for the second time and went through hell with him. He fought me on and off the court, and it took a while until we finalized the divorce and moved on.”

I ponder for a moment.

“Is that why you didn’t want to talk to me?” I ask.

She nods softly.

“Yes… It wasn’t pretty. A simple ‘I told you so’ from you at that time would’ve crushed me and put me in a downward spiral.”

She tips her gaze to her purse, taking out her phone.

“It wasn’t only that. And this is another reason why I stayed away from you. And also, why I’m here today.”

I look at her, intrigued.

“I wouldn’t have had the courage to come here and see you and ask for help had I not exhausted every possibility.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask, puzzled.

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