Page 446 of The Sinner: James

Thea rolls her eyes, bringing a chuckle to my lips.

“She can make money with that,” I say to Thea. “You should start writing,” I add, shifting my eyes back to Liz.

“How long did it take you to write your first book?” Liz asks me.

Thea swings her eyes to me as well.

“Um... Well... My first book was not that kind of book. Fresh out of high school, I had this strange idea that I could write anything I wanted and still make money. So I said to myself, why not a book about ancient history? I loved history in school, so I wrote that book. It was an interesting read, provided that the reader was a scholar. It certainly wasn’t for the mainstream audience. I published it, and the book got mentioned here and there. The reviews were good, but there was no way I could make a living with it. And then, I wrote my first real book,” I say quietly. “It was more of a memoir, but it also had romance in it. And a lot of the sexy stuff that usually sells books,” I say, moving my eyes to Liz. “It sold better than I expected.”

“Was it really based on your life?” Liz asks.

“Yes.”

“I read it,” Thea says.

I shift my eyes to her.

“Did you like it?” I ask, my voice lined with surprise.

She nods.

“Yes.”

She tips her gaze down, her cheeks flushed.

“It also helped me a lot...” she murmurs, focusing on her food for a moment.

Liz and I look at her, waiting for her to raise her eyes.

She finally does it, a soft smile tugging at her lips.

“At the time, I was in one of those confusing moments with Ed. Considering all the stuff we'd been through, I couldn’t see how we could end up together. And then I read your story and realized it hadn’t been easy for James and you as well.”

I suck in a long breath.

“No, it wasn’t. It’s never easy with men like them.”

I pause while they stay silent, waiting for me to continue.

“I was lucky because I had no idea how clueless I was when I met him for the first time. I say lucky because had I known then what I know now, I would’ve never had the courage to let myself fall for him. Later, I learned with experience comes caution. And too much caution comes with missed opportunities. I had no experience back then, so I took my chance with him as if he were just another guy.”

Sucking in another long breath, I recollect those times.

“I was stubborn–– and, according to him, a spoiled brat–– but it all worked out in the end. It wasn’t without pain, though, but I have no regrets, and I wouldn’t change a thing,” I say softly.

“What advice would you give to someone in a similar situation?” Liz asks, her eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

Thea shoots her gaze at her.

“Are you dating someone I don’t know about?” she asks her cousin, amused.

Liz breathes a chuckle.

“Can you please shut up? I want to hear her answer. Besides, you never know what the future brings,” she jokes.

“I don’t know if there’s a recipe for success,” I say seriously. “I’ve done many stupid things, and somehow I’ve always pulled through. I guess the most important thing is to stick with it. Never give up. Whether it’s your perfect life in a small apartment with a coffeehouse nearby or a man who can have any woman he wants––yet you think he might have a thing for you––pursue the things that matter to you regardless of how crazy they sound to you or everybody else. You just have to do it. Push through. No one else can do it for you.”

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