Page 394 of The Sinner: James

“I’m happy for him too, but that’s not what I was talking about.”

A few moments of silence pass before I continue.

“I’ve taken into account all the good and bad things that could happen. Honestly, I’d rather have Lex announce Dahlia is pregnant and he wants to pull back from managing the company than dread this kind of news. I won’t hold it against Ed or Lex,” I say firmly.

Her eyes soften.

“That’s not what I want,” she murmurs.

“I know what you want.”

“Do you?”

“Yes, I do. And that day will come. Things change anyway, whether we want it or not. There’s no point in fucking with fate. Ed is building a life for himself and his family right now while I’m doing what I need to do. You have to see it for what it is. I’m not staying away from you on purpose. I’m not enjoying living on planes or adjusting to the time difference several times a month because I like it. I find satisfaction in my work but hardly in doing that. I thought you knew me better than that.”

* * *

RAIN

My eyes stayon him for a little longer, my mind spinning thoughts uselessly.

How can I argue with that?

I’m still standing, firmly rooted to the floor, everything softening inside.

“I wish you had told me first,” I say despondently.

“He summoned me to his suite to talk to me first and warned me about it. He knew it wouldn’t sit well with you. We know these things take a toll on the women in our lives. Do you think it doesn’t affect us?”

He pauses while I read his eyes.

“Does Ed look like he doesn’t care?” he asks.

“No.”

“Do I?”

I sigh.

“You made your point,” I say, defeated.

I look down for a moment before dragging my gaze up.

“I don’t want to sound as if I’m permanently whining. I’m not that kind of woman.”

“I know,” he says.

“I’ll try not to bring this up again.”

He doesn’t say a word.

“I mean it.”

“Okay,” he murmurs.

“But next time...” I say, playing with the buttons of his shirt. “You might need to meet me in New York,” I add seriously.

“Why New York?”

---