Page 305 of The Sinner: James

“You really want to know?”

“Uh-huh.”

He runs his fingers through his hair and cuts his eyes away again. I let him. And then he brings his gaze back to me.

“I’ve had a couple of women on retainer for convenience and exclusivity. Dancers.”

The warmth I felt a moment ago vanishes in a split second, icicles forming on my skin.

“A couple?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“You trusted them?”

“No, not really. But I made sure they honored their end of the deal. Considering the chunk of money they had made, it made no sense to cross me.”

“Are they still on your payroll?” I say, lifting an eyebrow.

Irritation flashes through my voice.

He stifles a grin.

“No.”

“Are you fucking with me?”

He shakes his head, a smile spilling over his lips.

“They’re out of work now,” he says seriously.

“Since when?”

“A couple of hours ago,” he murmurs, poker-faced, not very good at hiding his amusement.

I look down at my shoes to hide my smile.

“You haven’t changed, have you? And other than that?” I ask, regaining my composure and looking up at him again.

“They haven’t been the same couple of dancers all this time,” he says, barely suppressing a grin.

“Fuck you, James. You’re not serious,” I say, but for some reason, I can’t be angry with him.

“Okay... Okay,” he says.

His smile vanishes as he cups my face.

“Seriously, now. If you want to know the truth about the time we lost being away from one another, you should know more about what I didn’t do. I didn’t date. I didn’t fall in love. There were no girlfriends, socialites, lawyers, or other people who had worked for me. There wasn’t anyone who remotely thought about a relationship with me. I stayed away from those women. And not because I hoped I’d meet you again one day, but because I didn’t want anyone. I couldn’t let anyone close to me the way I let you.”

He pauses as I still search his eyes.

“I didn’t make babies. I’m clean. Okay?” he says in a softer voice.

“Okay.”

Both hands glide over my face, their touch soft and tender, bringing warmth to my skin.

“About my life...” I begin, and his finger goes to my lips.

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