Page 279 of The Sinner: James

He straightens and leans forward, setting his elbows on the table. His shirt pulls open at the neckline, revealing his neck as he tilts his head down, training his gaze on his hands.

“Things were meant to be that way, I guess. You were destined to be his.”

“Well, sometimes, destiny gets it wrong,” I murmur. “I’m not his woman, after all.”

He lifts his gaze, a soft grin creasing his lips.

“No matter what you do or how much you hate him, or how many men you get in bed with, you’ll always be his,” he says before going quiet again.

I soak in his beautiful face and his rueful smile.

“The same goes for him,” he says. “It doesn’t matter who he has in his life. You and his mother are the only women he’s been attached to. And that’s the story of his life in a nutshell. He lost her, and then he lost you, in both cases, without the slightest explanation. Up to this day, he can’t make peace with that. In his mind, you had no reason to pull away from him. I know why you left him, and I also know how he made you feel. He overwhelmed you, and you couldn’t match his power. You were right to do what you did, to show him that you could live independently. I’m not judging you or how you have accomplished that. I’m not a righteous man, and I’m not perfect in any way. Sometimes I’m not proud of what I’ve done myself.”

He looks down again, slowly shaking his head.

“I tried to explain to him… I really did. And we have argued a lot, but I was never able to make him understand,” he says.

He shifts his sky-like eyes to me.

“He’s not a bad man. He only has a lot of power and vicious anger inside him, and that’s a lethal combination. You shouldn’t feel bad because of what happened between us. He did everything he could to drag you down because he couldn’t pull himself up to you. He was convinced he wasn’t good enough for you, yet couldn’t change the way he felt about you.”

“There’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t change anything, not for him and not for me.”

“Yes... there is.”

I toss a questioning look at him.

He observes me for a moment.

“For starters, try not to hate him. And then, think about what I just said and try to make sense of how you feel about him, not at the surface where the emotions boil up but deep down in your heart. It could teach you a thing or two about him, and in the end, it may show you how to get to him.”

Grief grows inside me. I wish it were that easy.

We share a few moments of silence, his gaze glued to my eyes.

“I know it sounds strange to tell you this after what happened between you and us, but you could have a great life with him if you helped him open up to you.”

I fight my emotions back.

His hand cups mine.

“Think about it, Rain… Trust me. You won’t regret it.”

We spend a few seconds in silence before he smoothly tears his fingers away from me and pushes his chair back.

“I have to go now,” he says, rising to his feet.

I follow his example.

“Any special plans for tonight?” he asks in a different voice, taking in the flowers.

“Dinner with my friend Eve,” I say, having a hard time unclenching my teeth.

We reach the entrance, and I pull the door open.

He steps out of the apartment and spins around to face me, his eyes harboring a sad smile.

Eventually, he closes the space between us and snakes his arm around my waist, bringing me to his chest.

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