Page 273 of The Sinner: James

She cocks her head to the side and slowly raises an eyebrow, a smile beaming on her lips.

“Is this a book you write?’ she asks.

I breathe out another soft chuckle.

“I wish,” I say, seriously this time.

“Why would he do that?” she asks, a frown claiming her brow.

“He hates me because I left him and didn’t want his help.”

A sigh leaves her lips.

She looks at me, her thoughts reflected in her eyes.

“You think it was a bad idea too?” I ask.

Her palm slides up my back.

“I don’t know, Rain. It wasn’t one of your best. And in the end, was it all worth it?”

I lower my eyes while she speaks.

“You were so afraid he’d crush your heart if you stayed. But your heart got crushed anyway. It wasn't easier living away from him, was it? In some regards, it was worse. And that’s what he can’t forget, in my opinion. And that’s why he can’t forgive you. There was no way you could escape your fate. Once your hearts were linked, the outcome was bound to be the same... Perhaps if you stayed, he would’ve changed.”

A bitter smile tugs at my lips.

“Men like him never change,” I say, shifting my eyes to her.

“That may be true, but you didn’t even give him a chance.”

“That’s what he says.”

“What do you think would’ve happened had you been with him? As you often said, he might’ve gotten bored with you, but that doesn’t only happen to men like him. It’s men, in general. I got kicked to the curb by a weasel who found his lady weasel and hooked up with her behind my back. And then he lied to me for months until their love affair was ripe, and he finally discarded me as if I was nothing. And now, he’ll have his happily ever after with this woman,” she says. “And start their weasel family.”

My eyes slant down.

I don’t know if I should be crying or laughing.

Eventually, we share a chuckle.

“You’re crazy...” I say.

“It’s the fucking truth. Do you think it’s easier if it’s someone like Andy? At least James has a big warning sign above his head, spelling it out for you. Danger, it says, like one of those hazard signs. Don’t touch it. Or you’ll get electrocuted or poisoned or whatever. Don’t get attached to him, or you’ll get your heart broken. You know what you’re getting into with someone like him. You knew it from the start. Before he even laid a finger on you. But men like Andy? No. Uh-huh,” she says, shaking her head and wagging her finger. “You think he’s cute and safe because he’s soft-spoken and couldn’t throw a punch to save his life. Men like him bring you flowers and talk your ear off, filling your head with stupid nonsense, and you sleep soundly at night, thinking that you have everything figured out and you won the damn lottery with them. And then some sneaky chick comes along, finds him attractive, and puts a spell on him, and off he goes. How is that better?”

She pauses, waiting for an actual response.

“It’s not.”

“There,” she says before a few moments of silence pull away from us.

“I wanted James to love me...” I murmur after a while, my words sounding like a sorrow-drenched confession.

“He probably does...”

I shake my head.

“No. I don’t think so.”

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