Page 262 of The Sinner: James

I smile.

“Yes.”

She breathes a sigh.

“No, not really… That doesn’t mean I’m alone all the time. No, no. I have someone I go to the beach with, and another man takes me out to dinner from time to time, but other than that, there’s no one else. I’m not dating or anything...” she says, her voice trailing off for a moment. “I don’t think I’ll date any time soon. I’m no longer interested in a domestic situation, and casual‘something else’is not for me. I don’t believe in friends with benefits, either. Is that what it’s called nowadays?” she asks, smiling again.

I suck in a long breath.

“Yeah. That’s how it’s called. Well... You know better. Have you heard from Daria?”

“She’s in California right now. She’ll spend Christmas with your father and his new woman, and I’m sure they’ll have a great time together. Daria and Vicky are practically the same age,” she says, sincerely amused.

It’s good to know her sense of humor is intact after all these years and the things she experienced with my father.

A doorbell rings in the background.

“Okay, sweetie. I gotta go. Stephanie is here. We’re going to a show,” she says. “Kiss Rene, Donnie, and Eve for me, will you?”

“Okay, ma’. I will.”

We end the call, and I put the phone on the bed, sadness creeping up on me.

It’s hard to find an explanation for how I feel.

Things are alright overall. My mom has a good life, my father is about to settle down with someone else, and there’s a new baby on the way. My sister is still in the picture.

It could’ve been worse.

Much, much worse.

And yet I can’t shake off a strange feeling as I’m still haunted by the ghosts of the past, everything that happened to us, and how things turned out in the end with us scattered all around, living separately from each other.

This must be it.

This must be the reason why I feel this way.

Minutes later, I wave off my memories, heading to the bathroom.

I shower and get dressed before slipping my coat on and running out the door.

Half an hour later, I park my black Mercedes in front of Eve’s house, and

the smell of Christmas cookies, mulled wine, and delicious food greets me when I walk in.

They have a few friends over, and a lively dialogue and bits of laughter echo in the house when Eve and I retreat to the indoor patio.

“Can I get you anything else, girls?”

Eve’s mom slides a plate of cookies and two mugs of hot chocolate on the wicker table.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have,” I say, rising from my chair, eager to help her. “Thank you so much.”

She hugs me and pats me on my back.

“I’m so glad you’re here with us, Rain. Eve missed you so much,” she says, pointing to her daughter, whose cheeks are scarlet.

With that, Rene walks to the living room while Eve and I sink into our seats and shift our focus to the glass wall in front of us.

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