Page 256 of The Sinner: James

“Nobody wants me, but I’d do it in a second, if only for a day. Just to see how it is.”

I swallow a mouthful of tea this time.

“Don’t say that.”

“What? It will only be for a day.”

“No, no... That’s not what I was talking about. Men do want you, Eve.”

A shadow slides across her face, darkening her eyes.

“No, they don’t.”

“Perhaps college boys can’t see you for who you are, but real men are attracted to you.”

“How can you possibly know that?”

“What scares them away is not your looks. You’re a beautiful woman. It’s your mind that turns them off. You see through them and know immediately who they are. They don’t like it, especially if they're flaky. That’s why they pull away from you. Men, especially inexperienced ones, are insecure creatures. For the most part, college boys have no idea what they’re doing. They’re usually swinging back and forth between being jerks and being doormats––like your ex. They get shuffled around by girls who can’t make up their minds about whether they want to be sexually adventurous or hook up with the father of their babies. Not much knowledge is exchanged if you get my drift.”

“Do you think they improve later in life?”

I shrug.

“I don’t know. Maybe not, but at least they learn a thing or two.”

“And then someone snatches them up,” she says, smiling yet disappointed at the same time.

“Yeah… That can happen too. Anyway, my point is there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that you need to find the right man.”

She chuckles.

“Hence the idea of hiring one.”

“The good ones don’t come cheap,” I say.

Her smile broadens.

“That’s true whether you pay for their company or not,” she argues.

She’s right.

A few moments pass.

“You should come home with me,” she says.

I shift my gaze to her.

“I no longer have a home in Colorado. You know that. My mom moved to California.”

“How is she?”

“She’s good. She lives only a few blocks away from her best friend.”

“Is she on speaking terms with your father?”

“They chat on the phone from time to time. She doesn’t share much with me about their conversations, though.”

“Well... You can still come and stay at my parents’ place. We have plenty of rooms in the house.”

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