Page 225 of The Sinner: James

I should’ve never let her go.

I had her in that perfect moment of her life, just as she was ready to bloom. She was like a delicate flower barely curling its petals up, absorbing the sun and looking at the sky for the first time.

But I was more than willing to hurt her.

I did what everybody else had done before me because, deep down, I envied her.

She was pure, and I was damaged.

She still believed in good things, and I lost faith.

She was trustful, and I was cold and detached.

I loved her, and at the same time, I wanted to destroy her, to make her more like me. More human.

That’s what Lex meant when he said she needed to grow up and discover who I was. He knew I wouldn’t meet her halfway.

Either she became like me or else.

And she did.

She fucking did.

She runs her fingers under her eyes, wiping away her tears.

I glance outside.

“What about going out for a walk?” I say, checking my phone. “It’s still early.”

She looks at me, intrigued.

“Do you like snow?” I ask.

She nods, softly smiling.

“Good. There’s plenty outside.”

I push off the bed and stretch my hand out, helping her.

Twenty minutes later, wearing jeans, sweaters, jackets, and boots, we stroll down Lexington Avenue.

Just as we're getting ready to cross the street and walk to Central Park, the smell of freshly baked cookies drifts to us.

I glance around and spot the foggy windows of a bakery.

Her eyes follow my gaze.

“You like sweets,” I say, swinging the door open.

She smiles.

“Yes, I do.”

The place is small and smells like chocolate, cinnamon, and vanilla.

The owner packs a box of raspberry-filled cookies, chocolate snowballs, chocolate-dipped sugar cookies, and ginger crisps. She picks them, and I pay for them.

We slip outside and cross the street, heading to the park.

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