Page 30 of Silos and Sabotage

“Right.” Tears started rolling down Dr. Radcliffe’s cheeks. “It’s that pesky memory of yours at work again. Or not at work, in your case.”

You know about that, too?If it weren’t for her tears, Ella might’ve ended their bizarre encounter right then and there. But there was something raw and pure about the woman’s anguish. Something that begged her to stay and listen.

“Imagine trying to have a relationship with someone you love,” Dr. Radcliffe choked, “only to be erased from their memory time and time again.”

Ella’s senses felt like they were on overload. “Are you trying to say we’ve met before today?”Why don’t I remember it? Why don’t I remember you?

“Countless times.” Avery Radcliffe’s expression softened, and her eyes grew distant with nostalgia. “And despite all the cosmetic procedures you’ve undergone, you still remind me so much of your father. And me.” A sobbing chuckle escaped her. “You have my eyes, Ella.”

Ella scanned the woman’s features, trying to see what she was seeing. It was true that they had the same color of eyes — hazel with flecks of green. Her gaze dropped to Dr. Radcliffe’s hands, to eye her blood-red fingernails again. If she was telling the truth about being her biological mother, it was possible she was the very woman Ella had been looking for.

“Are you my kidney donor?” she demanded bluntly.

“I am.” More tears rolled down the woman’s face. “You’re remembering things, aren’t you?” She dabbed at the wetness beneath her eyes.

Ella nodded. It felt surreal to find herself face-to-face with the woman she’d been searching for only minutes after placing her electronic signature on the request for her medical records. She’d never expected a search of this magnitude to end before it even began.

“Dad said you died when I was a baby.” Though she’d never questioned his story or gone pilfering through her past, there was no denying her resemblance to Dr. Avery Radcliffe. It wasn’t merely their eyes. They were roughly the same height and build and possessed the same alto voice and animated way of talking with their hands. Ella would insist on all the proper documentation and proof. Way down deep, though, she sensed that the woman was telling the truth.

I have a mother.It was almost too much to absorb.I actually have a living, breathing mother.

“Technically, you were the one who died.” Her mother sniffed damply. “After divorcing your father, I claimed that I miscarried you, but it wasn’t true. I gave birth to you with the help of an unlicensed midwife. She lived down the road from the university I attended in Spain. Knowing I couldn’t raise you on my own, I had an attorney friend do some fancy footwork to make it look like your father married again.” She paused to draw a deep breath. “To a fictitious woman who met a fictitious end a year later. Then I contacted your father, told him what I’d done, and asked him to come get you.”

“Why?” The shock of learning that her biological mother was alive was wearing off. In its place were too many feelings for Ella to analyze —resentment, anger…wow! So much anger! How dare this woman give birth to her, then just send her away like that! Ella almost didn’t care what her reasons were. Whatever they were, they were wrong. Dead wrong.

“Because I was very young, very immature, and in a very dangerous situation,” Avery Radcliffe informed her gently. “Believe me, if there had been any way for me to have a normal life with you and your father…” She closed her eyes. “He begged me to stay with him and fight for our marriage, but I knew he couldn’t protect me.”

“From what?”

Her mother opened her eyes. “It’s a very long, very complicated story, I’m afraid.” She sounded world weary and defeated. “If you agree to undergo group therapy sessions with me, we’ll unravel our respective pasts as best we can beneath the auspices of Dr. Jones. He’s amazing, by the way. Very discreet. I’d trust him with my life.”

“I, um…yes.” How could she say no to that?

They sat there, staring at each other for another long moment.

“So, I have a mother…who’s alive.” A nervous chuckle tore out of Ella.This is so awkward.

“It’s true, even though I missed your entire childhood.” Avery Radcliffe bent to retrieve the box of tissues Ella had dropped on the floor. She grabbed a few for herself, then held the box out to Ella.

Ella pulled out a handful. “In case you’re wondering, Dad did a really good job of being both a mom and a dad.” She wasn’t trying to make her biological mother feel bad. It just felt like something she needed to know.

Avery Radcliffe didn’t look the least bit offended. “I’m not surprised. It’s Mick Lawton we’re talking about.” Her expression begged Ella to tell her more.

So she did. She told her mother about losing both of her front teeth right before the children’s Christmas pageant at church when she was five-years-old. She told her about the tea parties with her dad on their living room floor. And how skilled he’d gotten at braiding hair and putting twisty ties in ponytails. “He was the best dad,” she concluded with a sob. “When I got older, I tried to get him to date again, but he refused. He insisted that my mother had been the love of his life, and there would never be anyone else for him.”

Avery Radcliffe, who’d wept silently through Ella’s entire recounting, dabbed her face with the tissues in her hands. They came back smudged with mascara and foundation. “I’m glad he was able to give you the life you deserve. It’s all I ever wanted for you. I know it doesn’t make sense now, but it will someday. Hopefully.” She dabbed her face some more.

There were so many things Ella wanted to ask her, but it made the most sense to zero in on the ones that might help lead to her father’s killer. “About my kidney transplant…”

Her mother nodded and drew a deep breath. “Mick took an unspeakable risk, whisking me down to Corpus Christi in the dead of night. Not that I blame him. I would’ve done the same thing if I was in his shoes.” She gave Ella a watery smile. “You needed a kidney, and I was the perfect match.”

Because you’re my mother.As badly as Ella wanted to despise her for being an absent parent for most of her life, it was impossible to do so. Not only had she given birth to Ella, she’d given her a kidney. Willingly, it sounded like, and at a tremendous personal risk that Ella was struggling to keep an open mind about.

“Why wasn’t my father a match?” Her mind was spinning with follow-up questions.

“Because his kidneys weren’t in much better shape than yours.” Her mother’s lips trembled. “That’s the real reason he retired from the military when he did. He would’ve eventually needed a transplant himself.”

“I didn’t know,” Ella whispered.

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