Page 106 of The Menagerie

[MS]don’t expect a flower crown from my ass red

[RC]I’m sure I could find some stable boy to give me one if push came to shove

[RC]Though I would much rather have your ass than some flowers

[MS]alright well you can kiss my ass next time, how’s that

Rowan grins to himself, and yeah, that actually sounds pretty fantastic. If Mal’s lips are off limits, his ass will have to do. Fake medieval scenario or otherwise.

They chat a bit longer, keeping the conversation light even if mostly still tangentially kink related. Rowan slips in the occasional comment about what’s currently happening on the latest episode ofThe Great British Baking Show, which Mal predictably responds to with another eye roll emoji. Once, Rowan manages to wring a cake emoji out of him, followed by a peach emoji andknew you liked cake, redthat sends an involuntary shudder down Rowan’s spine.

As their conversation winds down and it’s nearing the wee hours of the morning, Rowan lets himself dip back into the more serious topic they’d been on earlier.

[RC]I gotta go to bed soon but…

[RC]Please let me know if something like that happens again

[RC]2 way street, remember?

[RC]I know I’m new to this but I’ll always try to figure something out

[MS]i know

A minute later, he follows up with another text.

[MS]i will

[MS]for what it’s worth i do appreciate you giving a shit

[MS]lot of doms don’t

Rowan wants to tell him that his caring has nothing to do with being a Dom, but he’ll let Mal think that if it’s what he needs to believe. Right now he doesn’t think sayingActually, it’s because I like you even though I shouldn’twould go over too well.

[RC]Of course

[RC]Aside from the obvious, was the rest of the scene OK?

He’s careful to phrase the question as if, to him, the kisswasn’tthe best part of the whole thing, if only for a fleeting moment before the panic set in.

[MS]wouldn’t have gotten that deep if it wasn’t

[MS]that shit gets to me way more than any other type of play

As Rowan’s head stops swimming from the revelation that Mal enjoyed his praise enough to lose himself to it, his heart lurches at the realization that he probably likes it so much because he doesn’t get treated like that in his everyday life. Probably not when he was growing up either, if he was like most South End kids with shitty parents and a street-hardened exterior.

[RC]I’ll keep that in mind next time you’re up for it

Mal sends him a thumbs-up emoji.

Rowan knows that it’s kind of a dismissive emoji—a signal that the conversation is over—but it makes him smile anyway.

MAL DOESN’Tbring up the kiss again that week, so Rowan doesn’t either.

But fuck, he can’t stop thinking about it.Hasn’tstopped thinking about it since Saturday. How badly he’d wanted it—still wants it, even with their tiff still fresh in his mind—and how he’d come the second he realized what was happening. Another knot of guilt coils itself in Rowan’s belly, and he can’t help but still feel dirty at having basically used Mal in that way.

It’s not his fault, and he knows that. It’s not even reallyMal’sfault—just one of those things that happens with shit like this.

He wonders if Mal has kissed any of his past Doms. If he’s everwantedto kiss any of them. Rowan doubts it, given how visceral his reaction to the thought of it had been when they first met and hashed out their kink boundaries. Still, he rereads Mal’s text over and over:

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