Page 65 of Our Hearts to Break

River is my addiction.

It was never about the girls.

It’s funny how I once thought I was a sex addict. We could have avoided years of scandals and drama if I had taken my head out of my ass and saw what was staring me in the face. He was always my light in the darkness.

River moans as I add another finger and bite his neck. “Please, Nate. More. Fuck me. Please.”

I nibble on his skin. “I love it when you beg.”

He tilts his head to the side to encourage me to kiss the spot where I bit him.

“Choke me,” he whispers. “I’m so close.”

As I thrust into him, he strokes his big cock, cheek mashed against the tiled wall. I give him what he wants and apply some pressure to his throat, my thumb rolling over his windpipe.

“Harder,” he whimpers. “I need more.”

I tighten my grip around his throat. River likes being choked and spanked.

“Dirty boy,” I growl in his ear. “You take my dick so well.”

My balls ache, begging for a release, and as a flush of heat washes over my body, I spill my cum inside him. River coats the wall, and he relaxes against it, needing my weight crushing his back to stop him from sinking to the floor.

I slip my finger into his hole. “You’re so full of my cum.” I add another finger and flick my tongue over his ear. “Look at you, baby. You’re mine.”

“Yours,” he whispers, completely spent.

“Yeah, you are.” I grip his ass and spread him for me. “This is all fucking mine.”

* * *

We sayour final goodbyes in my bedroom, tears leaking from our eyes. River kisses me. I kiss him back. And after he’s tucked inside his car, I hunch beside his open window.

“I’m going to marry you someday.” Clutching the door, I smile. “And I want to make a big deal about it. Because I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

A single tear slides down his cheek. I reach inside the car to wipe it away with my thumb.

“In two weeks, you’ll come to stay with me,” he says, a hint of hope in his voice. “And I expect you to be on your best behavior until then. Don’t stop writing in your journal. Keep going to your therapy appointments. And make sure you pay attention to those bruises. If you see?—”

I put my finger over his mouth. “I know, Riv. I got this. I’m a big boy.”

He smirks. “Oh, I know.”

Of course, his mind goes to that dirty place. Sex is such a regular part of our relationship. Years of passing around women have bonded us in ways that cross the typical bonds of friendship. But he’s not just my best friend anymore.

River is my everything.

“Call me when you get to Long Island.” I give him a quick peck and tap the hood. “You should get on the road before I drag you out of this car and lock you in my bedroom.”

He laughs. “I wouldn’t mind being your prisoner. But yeah, I do need to go. I told my dad I would call him on the way.”

As River drives away, my heart sinks to my stomach. All the nerves and fear bubble up inside me like lava.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

---