Page 29 of Our Hearts to Break

River scratches his neck and groans, “Fuck. She knows about us, Nate. We didn’t lie when she asked us if we were together because we thought the conversation was legally binding.”

“I’m sorry.” I put my hand on his knee to comfort him. “Try not to get too upset until we know for sure. My dad always finds a way to get what he wants.”

“I have to sign with a team,” he says, chest rising and falling faster, struggling to catch his breath. “I know you don’t want me to… But I have to do this before anyone finds out I’m gay. You saw the big deal the NHL made about Pride tape and jerseys. They’re not ready to accept gay men into the sport.”

While I know he’s right, I doubt they would reject River. He’s too good not to notice. Too good not to play professionally.

When River is on the ice, he’s in his element. He needs hockey. It has never been about the money or fame. My best friend was born to be a star and even better than his father. Denying him a spot in the NHL because of his sexuality would be a crime.

I think about what my father would do and how he would respond to threats. No matter what, he’s always calm and confident. He never shows any weakness.

When I was a boy, Dad handed me a rifle and said, “You’re either the hunter or the hunted, Nathaniel.”

So I fired the rifle.

I always shoot first.

River stares at me like he’s expecting me to make this easier for him—because I usually do. I promised to keep him safe, to protect him from our enemies because he’smine.

“We’re the hunters,” I say with a smile, holding his hand.

He nods. “Never the hunted.”

ChapterEleven

RIVER

On the rideto the hotel, I barely speak more than a few words. I can’t stop thinking about losing my anal virginity to Nate, worrying about every damn thing.

How much will it hurt?

What if Nate hates it?

What if I hate it?

My fingers and the dildo feel good inside me, but Nate is massive. He’s not only long but thick and heavy in my hand. Taking all of him in my mouth is always a challenge.

Anything I do with Nate will be an out-of-body experience, but we’re both inexperienced in this area and so fucking nervous.

Nate taps his fingers on the steering wheel to a rock beat, the music blasting through the speakers. He keeps his other hand on my thigh, only moving it to shift gears. He inches closer to my aching cock, a smirk on his handsome face.

With each inch, he tortures me. The asshole even laughs when he parks at The Waterford.

Once inside the lobby, I take in the lavish decor, rolling my small suitcase across the white marble floor. My heart beats faster as Nate gives his name at the front desk. Pretty soon, we’ll be fucking for the first time in the penthouse suite.

I’m okay.

I can do this.

Why am I so nervous?

Nate pays for the room. A pretty redheaded woman hands him two digital keys, and he rewards her with one of his sly grins and a wink.

A bundle of nerves, I step onto the elevator beside Nate. He waves the keycard in front of the reader and hits the P button. My pulse pounds as the car ascends.

Nate must sense my unease because his fingers slip between mine. “We can go as fast or slow as you want, Riv. You tell me what feels good and if you like it. Just remember you’re in control tonight, okay?”

Nate wants to top, which is okay with me because I want him inside me. After handing over so much control to Veronica as a kid, he needs to have power in sexual situations. But tonight, he’s giving some of it to me. I get to dictate what happens.

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