Page 21 of Our Hearts to Break

My dad raised me to protect women. He says they’re vulnerable and need strong men to care for them. I like girls. They’re pretty and smell nice.

Most of the girls at school blush when I talk to them. I ask them to borrow pencils just to touch their hands. I like how their skin feels against mine. Sometimes, when our fingers brush, their cheeks get all red.

Another shout pierces the air as I inch toward the room beside mine. Music floats up the stairs. I can’t make out the words, only the steady hum of the bass.

I push open the spare bedroom door and look inside. On the bed lies a naked man with a woman on top of him. Her head bobs up and down his lower half, and I can’t peel my eyes from the woman.

Her caramel brown hair hides her face like a curtain. But when she stops moving and tucks the strands behind her ear, I see her.

Veronica Langdon.

My mother’s best friend.

Like the girls at school, she always smells good. She wears tight dresses and heels and applies a lot of makeup. Her big boobs usually fall out of her tops, and whenever my dad catches me staring, he smirks.

I like it when she looks at me.

And she’s doing it now.

She tosses her long hair over her right shoulder, keeping her eyes on me as she puts the man’s dick in her mouth. A weird sensation blooms in my belly, and I’m starting to harden the longer I watch her.

I should walk away, but I can’t move my feet. Standing in the entryway in my boxers, I reach down and touch myself. Her eyes stay on me, and the man is none the wiser. He moans her name and threads his fingers through her hair, biting out a hiss.

My cock pokes through the slit in my boxers. It’s bigger than all of the boys on my hockey team. I see them in the shower and feel like a freak in comparison. But I’m also taller than them, almost six feet, and the tallest in my class.

Veronica seems impressed. She doesn’t look away when I fist myself in my hand. I want her to suck me into her mouth like the man beneath her, but she’s too old for me.

My dad jokes about me being a cougar chaser. I have no idea what he’s talking about. He thinks he’s funny.

A sound slips from my mouth. The man sits up, about to glance my way when I hide in the hallway. But I stay there, leaning against the wall, dick in my hand, too far gone not to finish. I got my first erection last year and haven’t stopped playing with myself since.

I’m not about to stop now.

He goes back to moaning Veronica’s name. So, I close my eyes and imagine she’s doing that to me, pumping my shaft until I come in my hand.

Later that night, or maybe it was the early morning, Veronica creeps into my bedroom. She kicks off her heels and gets in beside me.

“You like watching me, don’t you, Nathaniel?”I pretend to sleep, afraid to get in trouble if I answer.

She kisses my forehead. “My sweet boy. I will teach you.”

Her perfume fills my nostrils as her hair sweeps across my forehead. Still playing dead, I press my cheek to the pillow. Her lips ghost my forehead again, and her long fingernails run down my arm.

“Sleep, my darling,” she whispers. “I’ll come back for you tomorrow night.”

I wake up to the alarm clock blaring in my ears, shooting up from the mattress as if it’s on fire. My heart races so fast I can’t catch my breath.

“Nate,” River says, concern dripping from his tone.

He puts his hand on my knee, and the simple touch helps to calm my nerves.

“It was my fault,” I tell him. “I provoked her.”

River hooks an arm around me and sighs. “No, it wasn’t. You were a kid. She knew better and did it anyway.”

“I dreamed of the night it all started,” I confess, my voice shaking. “I went into that room. I jerked off in front of her. I stood there and watched her suck that guy’s dick and liked it.”

“That doesn’t excuse her actions, Nate.” River climbs onto my lap and straddles me, holding my head to his chest. “She was old enough to know right from wrong. A normal adult would have flipped out when they saw you watching. Veronica let you stay. She chose to wake you up and hurt you.”

---