She starts tying my hair in a loose braid. “I believe he is warming up to you. When he first met you, he probably did not understand how strong the fated mate bond truly is. But over time, he has begun to see you—not your title or who you once were, but you. And you’ve also changed. In a very short time, you’re no longer afraid to stand up to him.”
That’s true. I’ve become more confident around him. He’s always yelling and growling, but he never hits me. He has never behaved in any manner that makes me think he’s going to hurt me. That matters to me. “I don’t feel unsafe around him.”
“And you shouldn’t,” Harriet replies seriously. “Cedric will never hurt you. He’s not a cruel person.”
I don’t respond to that. I do believe that there is a very low chance of him physically harming me. But emotionally?
I’m scared of forming any kind of expectations when it comes to him. If I do and he then decides I’m not good enough for him, it will shatter me. There’s still a strange tension between us. He has contradicted everything he said to me in my first days here, so it is hard for me to trust him. Similarly, the people in this castle may have begun to warm up to me, but that doesn’t mean I trust them, either.
I’ve only ever known pain and suffering. Love and affection are strange concepts. A part of me is convinced that I am not worthy of them. I’m not supposed to be loved. I’m not good enough. I’m too scared to even consider it.
And it’s not as if Cedric goes around spouting out love confessions to me. He keeps turning up where I am and pushing me around, but not in a violent sort of way. He fusses over me and scolds me and growls at me. I’ve slowly become accustomed to his manner of speaking. When he talks to me, he’s more bark than bite.
I don’t know quite what to make of him. At night, he pulls me into his arms and holds me till I fall asleep to the beat of his heart. He will randomly take a lock of my hair and sniff it when he thinks I’m asleep. When I wake up, he’s wrapped around me so tight that I have to wake him up to let me go. He has started forcing me to have meals with him. It feels like he’s looking after me, but I can’t tell. When I got sick, did it scare him? Is that why he’s going out of his way for me?
Even if that is the case, why is he bothering?
I thought I was just a substitute. He said so. But he doesn’t treat me that way.
The castle’s decor is slowly being changed into a brighter one, one that I thought suited him. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall and for him to tell me to stop wasting money, to remember my place, but he hasn’t said anything. His motivations worry me. My own reactions worry me.
I can’t seem to control my emotions around him. I have always tried to hold my tongue, to keep my thoughts to myself, but it’s nearly impossible when I’m around him. He provokes me in subtle ways, and I’m starting to believe that he enjoys my little outbursts. Or at least that he gets some satisfaction out of them.
He’s a strange man but brutally honest. I’m starting to realize that I prefer that.
A knock on the door startles me from my thoughts. “That must be Rothan.”
“I’ll go check.”
When Harriet opens the door, the person outside is not her son and my advisor, but somebody else.
Bella.
“Can I come in?” she asks begrudgingly. She doesn’t sound very happy, which makes me immediately tense up.
Harriet glances at me, and I nod.
Bella doesn’t look great. I haven’t seen her for quite a while. In fact, the last time I saw her was when Cedric was ordering my dresses. She looks a little haggard, as if she hasn’t slept for days.
“Do you have a minute, Your Majesty?”
It’s weird to have her speak to me in such a respectful tone. She has never hid her disdain for me before.
“Do you need something from me?” I ask slowly, wondering what she could be up to.
Cedric has already denied any relationship with Bella. Honestly, that took me by surprise. The way Bella spoke in our first meeting, and the ones after, strongly implied that she and Cedric were together and that I was the interloper.
“I have a favor to ask of you.”
I feel a little flabbergasted. What could she possibly want from me? I have no idea what she has been up to recently, nor have I inquired. After our last encounter, I have tried to stay as far away from her as possible. I didn’t think she’d actually come seeking me.
“Is everything alright?” I ask uncomfortably.
“I would like you to ask the king to reinstate my position as the royal advisor.”
My eyes widen, and Harriet hisses, “How dare you?! How shameless—”
I lift my hand, stopping her in mid-sentence. “He removed you from that position? Permanently?” I’m taken aback by that. “When?”