Page 45 of The Alpha's Lunar Crown

A bitter laugh escaped me. "And what about what was best for me, Lucien? You don't get to push your way back into my life and demand everything you threw away."I catch my lower lips between my teeth to keep them from trembling. I hate how this conversation still triggers me after years. Almost as though the wounds reopen at every turn.

"I didn't realize that losing you would cost me everything." His response is low, almost blending with the soft whispers of the trees around us.

The words hang between us, heavy and unrelenting. I have always wanted to ask him about his wolf since the healer mentioned it, but I've not found the right time. Lucien is not exactly one to sit and chat about his feelings, and I can't imagine how difficult it must've been for him to rule without his wolf.

I suck in a deep breath, steadying my voice before speaking." when did it happen?"

Lucien cocks a brow. "When did I realize losing you cost me everything?"

"Your wolf, when did he go away?"He stiffens at my question, his fist curling around the railing and gripping tight. The conversation is not going to be a comfortable one, but it has to happen. It suddenly makes sense that my wolf has been very quiet since we stepped into Blackwood.

I had assumed she was crippled by nostalgia and taking her time to soak in the feeling of being home, but I was wrong. This is her reason. She cannot feel or connect to her mate.

"When did it happen?" I repeat, my tone softer and urging him to talk to me. I could've easily gotten the information from the pack healer or one of the pack members, but I want to hear it from him."The day you left," he admits, turning to me. "It wasn't just about the bond, Aurora. It was you. You were my strength."

My resolve wavers, but I can't let myself crumble. Not yet. There's still a lot for us to unpack. "Lucien…"

He lifts his hand, hovering it near my cheek before he lets it drop. "I know I don't deserve forgiveness. But I'll fight for it if you let me."

The air shifts between us, going from cool and breezy to warm and suffocating. I swallow hard, my heart a chaotic mess of longing and fear.

"I don't know if I can," I whisper.

"Let me try at least." He says, taking a step closer. "Let me show you how badly I want for us to work out. Let me show you how much I've missed you." Another step closer. "Let me show the beautiful family we can have.""You already have a family, Lucien." My voice is breathless and weaker than I intend, but it passes the message clearly.

Lucien lets out a small smile and straightens his posture, but he does not step away from me. "I was wondering when you were going to bring that up."

"I won't take away another woman's husband, and I sure as hell did not go through all of this to end up as your mistress in the end.""Rora," he says my name like a silent prayer. "You won't be taking anything from anybody. I've always been yours."

I let out a scoff, stepping away from his zone of influence to clear my head. "I believe everyone would have a very different answer."

"Selene found her mate, and she's currently at his pack to see his people through a difficult time."

The wheels in my brain spin at a very speedy rate, putting two and two together. A gasp escapes my lips. "The alpha of Ironclaw? Didn't he…isn't he…dear Goddess. How is she?"

"Not her best, but Selene's a tough one. She'll pull through."While I never had a close relationship with Selene, she has always been one of the females I admired in the pack. I have no doubt she'll pull through. She was practically raised to be a leader, but at the same time, I cannot imagine the pain of losing a mate.

Lucien and I might've been separated for a long time, but the mere thought of his death chills me to the bones.

I don't notice Lucien close the distance between us till he's practically in my face. "I told you it's going to be different this time. Even the circumstances are aligning in our favor."

Despite the haze of emotions clouding my brain, I find it difficult to disagree with him. The situation seems almost tailored in our favor, but I don't admit it to him. Hope will only get me hurt, and I cannot afford to trust in the words of a man or make mindless mistakes. I have my son to think about.

"Rora." Lucien picks up a stray lock of hair from my shoulder, wrapping it softly around his index finger. The movement is innocent and almost mindless, but it causes my stomach to flip in the most unnatural way.

It has to be his closeness to me. Even the air has gone from refreshing to being doused with pine and amber. His scent clouds my thoughts, and he is all I can inhale.

I make an attempt to take a step back and collect my thoughts before I make a mistake, but Lucien eats up the distance as soon as I create it.

"Stop fighting us. I know you feel this too." His voice is raspy and heavy with need, and his eyes burn at every point they touch. I silently curse myself for the emotions pouring through me.

"Lucien—

"Shhh," he places his forehead on mine, our breath mingling. My chest is heaving against his, the swell of my breast straining through the soft fabric of my shirt and brushing against his muscled chest.

His eyes trail from my eyes to my lips down to my hardened nipples and back to my face.

Just as he moves to close the distance, my phone rings, the sharp sound cutting through the stillness of the night and startling me out of the moment.

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